


Under The Blanket

by DownhillsDowner



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-11
Updated: 2017-11-01
Packaged: 2018-08-21 19:35:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 21
Words: 20,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8257933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DownhillsDowner/pseuds/DownhillsDowner
Summary: Illumi decides that Gon is too much for Kilu. He doesn't want the boy to corrode his younger brother, so he does the obvious thing. He kidnaps him. Only, he doesn't plan on falling in love. But he does. This is going to be a long fanfiction for Illumi and Gon bc I ship them. I don't own characters.





	1. Chapter One

Most dark nights went by smoothly, rarely anything eventful happening. The small nocturnal creatures scurrying about, catching insects and grub- making small occasional noises. It was peaceful, though. More-so than his friends, Gon was completely in his element- every heightened sense perfectly in tuned with nature’s wild predicaments. He was relaxed and enjoyed every second lying on the hard ground as his eyes pried themselves open.  
Killua was already asleep, even though he didn’t seem like it being propped up against a nearby tree. The fire flickered with bright hues of yellow mixed with a hazy orange. Gon stared into the flames with half-lidded eyes, the chunks of wood casting shadows on the surrounding ground.  
He glanced at Killua. ‘He must be exhausted, I’ve never seen him out so quickly before…’ His lips formed into a small frown before closing his heavy eyelids, his fingers gently curling into the thin blanket under him which provided little comfort.  
Slowly, he started to relax- his instincts becoming dull from the loss of sleep. ‘Then again,’ he thought, ‘I’m about to pass out…’ As if on cue his lips parted, his breath coming out evenly and soon enough quiet snores left him.  
But on this dark night- everything was silent. Long black hair glistened with the moonlight, the soft strands gently flowing in the mute wind. The figure hidden in the shrubbery was stiff, not moving a muscle as his eyes carefully and slowly took in all of the surroundings.  
The dark irises narrowed, focusing in on the small boy. ‘Hisoka warned me and boasted about his potential… But all he really is, is a threat.’  
He then shifted his gaze over to the white haired boy. His gaze softened and his posture relaxed. ‘I’ll save you, Kilu. I’ll save you from this boy.’  
The eldest son turned his focus back to Gon, watching intently as his chests slowly rose and fell, a few strands of hairs straying from the rest and laying against his forehead. ‘He must have somehow… Enchanted… Kilu… Perhaps with his looks? He seems to have caught Hisoka’s eye as well…’ Illumi thought, trying to decrypt the spell that seemed to bind Killua to Gon.  
He gave a small shake of his head. ‘There’s no time for that now, I have to time this perfectly.’ He castigated himself, silently moving forward. He avoided every low branch and patch of leaves with experience, shifting and bending his body to avoid hitting anything. Illumi was only twelve feet away from his target. He played back every situation multiple times, thinking of every possible action and reaction. Black irises quickly scanned over his younger brother’s body. ‘He’s out cold…’ Narrowing eyes turned to glare at the tan boy. ‘He must have something to do with it…’ Illumi paused, his eyes widened as he realized he accidentally let his nen slip, the spike in energy making Killua shift, nails sharpening on reflex.  
The tall pale man stared at the younger, watching every shallow breath and twitch of muscle until he decided that it was safe and that Killua wouldn’t wake up. He quickly stabilized himself, crouching low to the ground as he slowly made his way over to Gon.  
The air was thick, and suffocating. The assassin thought for sure the young boy would wake up from the atmosphere, but was proven wrong from the steady breaths and soft snores.  
There was maybe less than a foot separating them as he crouched down near Gon’s head. ‘I have to make this perfect.’ He slowly drew out a long and thin cylindrical syringe, placing the pads of his fingers in all the right places. ‘It’ll take five minutes for the drug to spread out through his entire body, in the mean time I have to counteract the sting of a puncture with a physical distraction.’ He repeated the multiplex plan once more as he flicked the tip of the syringe, squeezing the plunger just a little to make sure there was no air in it. He leaned down, barely grazing the back of his knuckles against Gon’s cheek as he positioned the needle at his neck and slowly added pressure, watching as it slowly disappeared into the skin.  
Gon shifted slightly, giving a soft groan but soon getting comfortable again. Illumi gently brushed his knuckles down the young boy’s jawline as the needle seeped all the way in. He carefully pulled it out, tucking it away safely before returning his gaze to his target.  
A small bead of blood started to build up around the narrow puncture wound and leak out as Illumi continued stroking at a calm and slow pace- trying his best to keep the boy asleep. Gon stretched one arm, wiggling his fingers as he tilted his head, giving the hand easier access. He continued to snore and Illumi started to question why he had fretted over Gon waking up. ‘Better safe than sorry.’ He thought, removing his hand from the younger’s face.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you guys enjoy this! I've been working on this one for a long time now, and any feedback is welcomed!

He waited patiently, being cautious of both boys’ breathing. Seconds slowly ticked by, neither hunter’s showing any sign that they would wake up. ‘I can relax yet.’ He reminded himself. 

Illumi waited until the five minutes were up, watching as Gon’s face relaxed and turned into a peaceful expression. He carefully gripped the edges of the blanket, folding them over Gon and wrapping him up- only his head exposed. 

Illumi carefully cradled his target in his arms, glancing at his younger brother before slowly backing into the dark woods. Once he was about thirty feet from Killua he turned and ran as fast as he could, holding his target close as he jumped over fallen trees and bushes. 

He had expected strange looks as he boarded the train, sitting down with Gon in his lap- still snuggly wrapped up.   
Thankfully no one had either enough courage or curiosity to ask him why he had a little boy swaddled in his lap. Illumi looked down at the boy whose face laid against his chest, his cheek being mushed. 

Gon was still quietly snoring, his body not even giving a single twitch. ‘Perfect. The drug is working even better than I imagined it would.’   
He shifted, crossing one leg over the other as the train started its trek, the metal wheels squealing against the track. 

Illumi sighed, double-checking to make sure Gon was tightly wrapped up and still unconscious. ‘You’re safe now, Kilu…’ He thought as he looked out the window, the forest that the boys had taken refuge in being miles away. ‘I promise I won’t let this boy get in the way ever again…’

Soon enough Illumi had fell asleep watching the boy, his head hanging low as his hair cascaded over his own and Gon’s face, worrying a few of the passengers. Gon, being as stubborn and full of surprises like always, had somehow managed to regain movement- squirming one arm out to wrap around Illumi’s neck. 

 

The assassin woke up immediately, stiffening up and quickly glancing to the young boy. He was slightly smiling, a small booger starting to leak from his nose. Illumi frowned. ‘Is he sick? Well, I imagine spending all that time in the woods it would be hard to not fall ill…’ 

Illumi sat up more, uncrossing his legs and straightening Gon up, his body easily complying and his arm falling from the assassin’s neck. ‘I don’t have any tissues…’ He sighed. ‘Hopefully our destination arrives soon…’ He thought as he examined Gon closely.   
He noticed that his cheeks were tinted pink and so was the tip of his nose. Purple tainted the skin under his eyes, making him look worn out and tired, but he was still smiling. ‘Such a strange child.’ Illumi thought, getting a little closer to understanding why so many people were interested in him. ‘Perhaps he’s special, like Alluka. Maybe he has a significant power to draw in others, never letting them leave…’ He started going off, his mind tumbling with suspicions and ideas. ‘The fact that with such a strong drug he’s able to move after a short amount of time…’ Illumi continued taking in Freecss’ appearance, noticing every minuscule detail and possible weak spot. 

The train slowly chugged on, a thick stream of smoke leaving the chimney. Illumi had taken the train many times, but never before had the trip seem to take so long.


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guuuuuuess who's birthday is coming up???

“Hello there.” An aged voice greeted Illumi. He nearly jumped, being so focused that he somehow didn’t notice the old lady approaching him. 

She sat down next to him, offering a friendly smile and a shaky wave before gripping her cane. ‘How could you get so distracted?’ He scolded himself for a second then turning his gaze to the stranger. “…” He paused, not understanding why she would want to sit next to him when everyone else was doing their best to look away. 

She peered at Gon, her smile growing. “What’s the boy’s name?” She asked kindly, seeming to have no other intent rather than to have a friendly conversation. Illumi curled his fingers around Gon’s shoulder and hip, not sure if giving out information about his abductee would be wise. 

However, he doubted there would be a large commotion if the boy went missing- knowing that he didn’t have much family and only his friends would try to find him. ‘They most likely wouldn’t contact the police. However, Killua would be a problem… If he finds out I’m the one who took him then he’ll know exactly where to find the boy-‘

“Excuse me? Sir?” The old lady tried to break him out of his thoughts, gently shaking his shoulder. Illumi jumped- once again- causing Gon to stir. ‘There goes me and my bad habits again…’ He glanced at her hand, immediately detecting no trace of threat then looked at her. “His name is Gon.” He said, monotonously as always. 

She smiled slightly and nodded. “I see. Well then, you two have made quite the spectacle for this midnight ride. Everyone is curious, and they have good reason too. A young man swaddling a young boy who could easily walk on his own. His legs aren’t broken, and he’s not dead- thankfully.” She finished, meeting Illumi’s blank stare. ‘She’s observant.’ He thought. “I suppose it is a little suspicious.” 

He agreed, trying to figure out if she actually did have a motive. “Well, he doesn’t seem like he’s related to you, bearing no physical resemblances. Unless he’s adopted- then I apologize.” She said, sounding sweet as sugar. ‘Too polite…’ He noticed. 

He caught on the offer of Gon being adopted and went with it. “Yes, he’s adopted. He’s my younger brother.” She smiled and nodded. “Ohh, I see. Why is he all wrapped up?” She pointed with a shaky finger, tilting her head as her bun of hair leaned with it. 

Illumi glanced down at Gon, the snot getting worse from last time. It laid on his top lip, the gooey substance having a shine on it from the bright lights overhead. 

Illumi sighed as Gon shifted, pressing his cheek harder against the man’s chest and reaching up to wrap his arm around his neck again. “Oh, poor dearie.” The old lady said sympathetically. “Here, I have a tissue.” She reached into her purse and pulled out a small portable pack of folded tissues. 

She pulled one out and held it towards Illumi who paused before shifting Gon in his lap and taking it. He turned back to Gon, using a small portion of the tissue to gently wipe under his nose, causing the small boy to giggle. 

The lady smiled softly as Illumi folded up the tissue, carefully cleaning up the residue above Gon’s upper lip. He leaned over a little and threw away the used tissue into the trashcan, sitting up again when he finished. Just as the old woman started to put the package back in her person Gon made a small yawn, another trail of snot running down his nose. 

She giggled, handing Illumi the package again. “Just take it- a gift from me to you. Poor thing must have allergies.” Illumi took the tissues gratefully. “… Thank you.” He said softly, taking another tissue out and cleaning Gon’s nose carefully once again. 

“You’re so gentle with him… You must have more than one sibling, don’t you?” She asked, closing her purse and slinging it over her shoulder. “Yes, I do.” 

“And you’re the oldest as well.” She smiled.

“… I am.” This conversation was probably the longest he’d ever had with a stranger before. The woman leaned back. “I had a feeling. I as well was the oldest out of my siblings. One brother and three sisters, in fact. We all lived with our grandfather.” She said simply, her dark green eyes soft and focused on Illumi who wasn’t really sure how to respond. “You’re a quiet one, you keep to yourself. I imagine you’re not used to talking to strangers. So don’t worry, I’m not expecting you to tell me your entire life story.” She chuckled quietly, coughing a little. 

Illumi only responded with a small nod, folding the tissue and gently dabbing at Gon’s leaky nostril. The steam locomotive rang out twice before slowly coming to a stop, the train station large and full of people. 

“Oh.” The woman frowned slightly. “This is my stop sadly. Well, it was nice to meet you and Gon, even though the sweetheart wasn’t awake.” 

She waited as people started to leave the train, wanting to lower the risk of getting accidentally run into or knocked over. “Oh!” Her eyes widened a bit as she turned slightly to face the young man. 

“I’m so sorry, I never introduced myself! My name is Uline Mikvy, and you are?” She smiled. 

Illumi paused. ‘I suppose it doesn’t really matter at this point.’ He thought, giving up and adjusting Gon in his lap so that he curved against his own body in a perfect fit. “My name is Illumi.” He gave a curt nod as she stood, digging the end of her cane into the floor. “Well, it was a pleasure to make the acquaintance, Illumi. Tell Gon I said hi when he comes to, aright dearie?” 

Illumi nodded and watched as she gave a small wave and left, following the thinned out line of people as they got off and all went their own ways. He looked down at Gon, watching as another trail of snot leaked out of his nose, his cheeks pinker than before.


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chunk of story didn't really fit with anything so it's sorta like a filler chapter.

The boy gave a small sniffle, still smiling. ‘Even when you’re unconscious, people still come to you…’ He held the mystery in his arms a little closer, looking up at the remaining passengers and making sure none were a current threat to his target that currently had a snot bubble which was close to popping.

The train took a few minutes before starting again, the smoke in the air leaving a trail of gray wisp to mark their path. Gon shifted, immediately grabbing Illumi’s attention. He looked down, watching as the young boy was squirming a little, his face contorting as he sniffled. 

A group of hairs were laying on his cheek, the ends barely grazing the side of his lips. Illumi watched, smiling softly as memories of a baby Killua played in the back of his mind. 

Finally, Gon took in a shaky breath then sneezed, the hairs falling away. The boy smiled softly, giving a small sniffle before settling back into his arms. Illumi grabbed another tissue, once again cleaning the snot away. Gon grabbed the assassin’s shirt, clutching it tightly in his fist. Illumi stiffened up a little. 

‘I don’t think he understands nen yet… Which would be extremely to my advantage.’ He shifted the boy, bringing him closer to his neck, some of his hair mixing with Gon’s. The younger of the two stirred slightly, trying to stretch his legs and whining quietly when he couldn’t. 

Illumi sighed, reaching down to loosen the blanket up a bit so that his feet could be free. Gon stretched then relaxed once more, his snoring returning. ‘I didn’t expect this to take so much maintenance…’ Illumi thought as he looked up, examining his surroundings to see if there were any changes. ‘Somebody left their window open…’ He noticed, his hair along with Gon’s gently moving with the breeze.


	5. Chapter Five

Gon was, for the most part, still for their trip. The train made a few more stops before making it to their destination. Illumi waited until majority of the people had gotten up before re-tucking Gon, standing up and getting off the train with silent and paced steps. 

He sighed, trying to walk as smoothly as possible to lower the chances of Gon waking up. ‘If he can move now then he should be able to wake up pretty soon… Although he seemed rather tired, if I’m lucky he’ll be out until the afternoon.’ 

The moon was full that night, giving off more light than usual. Illumi sped up a little, figuring that the sooner he got out of town the better. 

Too many people were staring, and if Killua came through here after realizing Gon’s disappearance he would have no problem finding out what happened if he started asking around. 

Illumi cradled Gon carefully, soon enough finding himself in the woods, the sun just peaking up above the nearby hill. 

He almost paused, wondering if either Killua or his target liked to watch the sun rise or fall. He shook his head. ‘I can’t dwell, I have to hurry.’ Illumi adjusted the boy in his arms before settling into a jog, knowing that the hours to home would be full of constant worry and the possibility of a waking Gon.

There was nothing Illumi loved more than coming home to the first gate. 

He moved the sleeping body over to one arm, using the other to open the gate with ease. He passed through, a grin almost painting his lips. 

He continued, going through each and every gate until he was finally at the mansion. His breath caught in his throat. ‘Maybe… Maybe one day you’ll be the one I bring home…’ He stood there, frozen as his mind wandered off to hopes and dreams. 

That is, until Gon shifted, yawning and rubbing his eyes. 

Illumi’s eyes widened. “Mm… Killua..?” Gon mumbled, squirming a little. ‘I was so close.’ He started to panic, trying to think rationally. 

“Huh?” Gon blinked a few times before opening his eyes fully. “What… Where am I..?” His eyes fell onto the long black hair before turning his head to meet the sight of pale skin. 

“… Illumi? What are you doing with me?! Where are-“He gasped, his eyes widening as knuckles met with the side of his head. 

His vision quickly went black, a small and weak whimper leaving his lips before he went limp, his forehead hitting Illumi’s shoulder. ‘That should keep him out long enough.’ Illumi thought as he briskly walked inside the mansion, heading straight for his destinations- not answering any of the butlers when they paused to question who the knocked out boy was. 

He quickly pushed open the metal door, barging into the nearly empty room. 

He sat Gon down, walking over to the small cage and checking the restraints before opening it. 

He walked back over to Gon, unwrapping him and gently placing him in the cage before laying the thin blanket on top of him. ‘I’ll have to find a thicker one… Winter will be here soon and this room doesn’t provide enough heat…’ He sighed, closing the door of the cage. 

Metal met metal and Gon’s fate was sealed along with twelve locks, the cold bars digging into his arms, stomach, and legs. Illumi examined the small boy before yawning. “I’ve been watching you for a while, my target. I think it’s safe to get some rest now, you should do the same.” He muttered before walking out of the room, shutting the door behind him.


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Killua wakes up. Gon is gone.

It was late in the afternoon when the young ex-assassin woke up. He sniffled, wiping his nose which was tickled. A yawn escaped his lips as he sat up, rubbing his eyes.   
He turned, looking over at the empty spot. 

“Gon?” He frowned, seeing that the blanket was also gone. “He must have had to pee.” Killua chuckled, noticing that with the cold Gon must have taken the blanket with him to add some warmth. 

Killua giggled, imagining Gon trying to pee, aim, and keep the blanket on him while not getting it dirty all at the same time. He laid back down, putting his hand behind his head and staring up into the sky.

‘It’s been ten minutes.’ Killua thought as he squirmed in place. ‘There’s no way he went out to just pee, even if he had to do number two it wouldn’t take this long…’ He groaned, rolling over onto his side and gripping the bright green grass beneath him. “Gon… You better be okay…” He sighed and got up quickly, walking around and searching for his lost friend.

‘It’s been an hour.’ Killua thought. He was terrified out of his mind. He dashed from tree to tree, checked their campsite five times just in case Gon had come back. 

He paused, panting heavily. ‘There’s no way he’s lost, something must have happened.’ He thought depressingly. 

Killua's blood went cold. ‘Was he… Kidnapped? He must have! There’s no way Gon would just leave me, and if he was only attacked I would have heard it…’ He sniffled, quickly wiping his nose. ‘Don’t cry, please don’t.’ He whimpered, punching the tree next to him. ‘Calm down. Think rationally.’ 

He tried to take calming, deep breaths. He shivered, a breeze blowing. “But I-I can’t, Gon… I can’t think straight without you…” He pressed his forehead against the bark, sniffling more as a low whine left his lips before bursting into tears. He cried. And cried. And cried. He couldn’t stop, everything felt hopeless. 

The air was thick and gravity seemed to be crushing him down into the Earth. “I hate this. I hate this. I hate this!!!” He screamed, gripping the grass and pulling the blades from their roots. He cried. And cried. And screamed Gon’s name. “Please!” He sobbed, punching the tree in front of him. “Just PLEASE give him back!!!” He wailed, begging and begging but never receiving. He slumped against the trunk, nothing more but a ball of sadness and longing. “I… I-I can’t, Gon… Where a-are you…?!” He hiccuped and sobbed, pale cheeks turning red along with his eyes. 

He stayed there, losing track of time. It could have been minutes, it could have been hours. Nothing mattered anymore. “Gon… Gon… Gon…” He muttered, peeking his eyes open. “I-I’ll find you… I promise, as soon as possible… No matter what….” He close his eyes again, his chest rising and falling quickly. There would be nothing to get in his way. Nothing.


	7. Chapter Seven

Everything was cold was the first thing Gon registered as he slowly woke up. He blinked a few times, seeing nothing at all as a soft groan left his parted lips. He rubbed his eyes, wincing from the stiffness he had everywhere. His body was cramped from not being able to stretch out. He struggled a bit, getting caught in a thin sheet of fabric. He started to panic, his senses heightening as anxiety pricked at his nerves. He squirmed harder, the metal bars rattling and tinging whenever he accidently struck them. 

The heavy metal door creaked open, everything silent for a moment before it creaked again, closing. Gon gasped silently, his entire body stiffening up. His eyes widened, the pupils going large. He tried to quiet down his small and shaky breath, trying to hear the sound of any movement. Everything was silent. Illumi slowly made his way over to the cage, crouching down. “Oh, you silly boy. You’re all tangled up…” Illumi chuckled. 

Gon relaxed a little, quirking a brow. ‘That voice… Isn’t that Killua’s brother…?’ He shifted a little, trying to untangle himself. “Here… Stay still.” The assassin reached through the bars, grabbing the blanket and pulling it off of the small boy who was startled down to the bone. 

The younger quickly got up onto all four, glaring at Illumi. “Where am I?! Where’s Killua?!” He demanded, pressing his forehead against the bars and almost growling. “Hm? Well, you aren’t really in the position for any knowledge. Just know that you’re in a very dark room, with no lights or windows. And that door weighs more than you could push. And there’s no way out of this cage.” He said, his face not changing from its normal relaxed look. 

Gon frowned. “No, you have to tell me, right now! I swear if you’re trying to take Killua away again- it’s not going to work!!” He argued, sitting down on his heels and huffing. Illumi nodded. “Don’t worry. I have no intention of it.” He offered, his eyes trailing over the little boy’s expression as it shifted and became less aggressive. “Then… Why did you kidnap me?” Gon asked, looking at him curiously. 

Illumi continued studying him, almost forgetting to retract his arm from the cage. He did so, tilting his head. “Because.” His aura became darker, thicker. “You are a threat to Killua.” Gon’s eyes widened. “What? I’m not a threat, I wouldn’t hurt Killua.” He frowned. “You already have. And you will continue hurting him until you quit interfering.”

“Interfering with what?”

“His life.” Illumi said simply. “He doesn’t need you, you make him weak.” He stood up, walking over and grabbing a candle, lighting it then setting it in place. “No… You’re wrong, Killua’s my best friend! I don’t make him weak!” Gon argued, crossing his arms over his chest. 

Illumi sighed. “You’re just too young to see the damage… You’re risking Killua’s life every day that you’re with him. And that’s just reality, welcome to the real world- where it’s kill or be killed.” He finished, grabbing another candle and lighting it as well, placing it near the door, the room barely lit now. 

Gon looked away, feeling guilty. Illumi sighed and walked back over to the boy, sitting down in front of him. “It’s 4:47, by the way.” He stared at Gon, making the younger shift and squirm. “Okay… So, how long will I be here?” Gon asked, moving as far back to the cage as possible and pulling his knees up to his chest. “Hm.” Illumi tilted his head. “Probably until Killua forgets you. And until then you’ll be nothing, completely isolated from the world. There will be no trace of Gon Freecss.” Gon frowned more, sniffling. “N-no… He wouldn’t-… Killua loves me, he wouldn’t forget. Ever.” Illumi stiffened up, glaring. “He what?” This was something Illumi had worried about. 

That poisoned word. 

 

“He loves me.” Gon stated determinedly. Illumi’s skin crawled and he leaned forward, pressing his forehead against the metal bars. Gon faltered slightly. ”You think he loves you? Killua loves nothing and no one. You know nothing about love.” 

His words sunk into Gon’s skin and pierced his heart. Maybe… He was right… Gon slouched, his shoulders slumping and his chin resting against his knee. “Killua…” He muttered, wrapping his arms around his legs tightly as he sniffled. “I hope you’re okay…” He spoke softly. ‘Right now I’m cold, lonely, and scared. But as long as you’re okay that’s all that matters.’ He lowered his face, hiding it. 

He heard a soft sigh as Illumi rose, silently moving away and opening the door, walking out and closing it behind him. Gon sniffled again, staring at one of the lit candles as the flame flickered. ‘I can’t sleep… Not while knowing Killua is out there all alone…’ He frowned, the corners of his lips twitching down. He cried quietly for hours, not having anything better to do.


	8. Chapter Eight

Illumi held the small object in his pale hands. “Love. Is it really true, Killua? Has it come to this?” He sighed and frowned slightly. “Gon. You’re a peculiar boy…” He turned, his long hair flowing behind him as he walked downstairs. ‘I wonder if he slept some more, most likely, he still seemed tired.’ Illumi walked up to the metal door and paused before slowly opening it. 

The candles were almost completely burned out, a faint aroma in the air from the scented wax. Illumi shut the door behind him and walked up to the cage, kneeling down and peering through the bars. 

Gon was a caged animal at this point. His eyes were bright and full of malice, his body tense and ready to pounce at any moment’s notice. The only thing running through his head was to escape and find Killua. Illumi examined the boy’s primal attitude. “My, my… You seem to be acting up…” He noticed the snot running down his nose. ‘I doubt he would let me get anywhere near him- or accept anything from me.’ Illumi thought as he sat down Indian style. 

Gon let out a low growl and slowly approached the front of the cage. He reached up, gripping the bars tightly, his knuckles turning white. “Let. Me. Out.” He said as he glared at Illumi. The assassin tilted his head. “You know I can’t do that. Not until Kilu forgets about you. Even if it takes years.” 

“So what, you’re going to starve me?” He glared more, desperate for his friend. Illumi shook his head. “Of course not, I’ll make sure you’re bathed, fed, watered, and for the most part taken care of. You’ll live a long and happy life. Here.” Illumi smiled softly. Gon frowned, his demeanor shifted from anger to sadness. “I… But being here isn’t living…” He frowned more, his grip on the bars loosening as his gaze fell to the floor. “Being without Killua… isn’t living…” He sniffled, wiping his nose on his shoulder. Illumi frowned a little. 

“How come you two are so dependent on each other?” He asked, resting his chin in his palm.

Gon paused before looking up at the eldest Zoldyck sibling. “B-because. I already told you.” Illumi’s eyes narrowed slightly. “We love each other… At least, I thought we did…” He sniffled more. Illumi relaxed a little, noticing a crack in his assurance that could be dug into and grown. “Kilu isn’t capable of love. None of us are except for each other. And, even then things get a little shaky.” Gon looked up at him with large watery eyes. 

“N-no way… Nobody can just… devoid themselves of emotions…” He paused when his eyes trailed up to meet Illumi’s. 

This man was a living fact that it was possible. 

This is what Killua could end up like… Gon didn’t want to believe it. “B-but… Killua is different, he doesn’t want to be like you!”

“I’ve got his entire life to change that. What kind of big brother would I be if I didn’t guide him the right way?” Illumi gave his half, waiting to see if the boy had anything to say against it. Gon let go of the cold, hard, metal bars. He slowly shrunk down into a fetal position. ‘Killua…’ His friends name echoed throughout his head.   
He couldn’t get out of the cage with brute force, he tried it already- many, many, many times. Illumi watched curiously as the small kid slowly spiraled into a hopeless depression. ‘Good,’ he thought. ‘The sooner he comes to face reality, the easier it’ll be to handle him.’ Illumi got up only to replace the candles from earlier and relight them, setting each back in its formal location.

Gon sniffled, the aroma filling his nostrils once again. He liked it, shamefully though. It made him feel a little relaxed in this insane and stressful situation. He stayed in his curled up position, trying to listen as Illumi walked around the room. 

The older man however, was completely silent as he strode about, seeming to be in deep thought or planning something. Maybe both. Gon shivered, wanting to get the discarded blanket in the corner of the small cage but unable to move from his deep depression. He held himself that really being the only warmth provided. 

Illumi stopped, kneeling down in front of the cage. He looked over the boy’s body. “You seem chilled. You know your blanket is right there?” He pointed, tilting his head curiously. 

“… I know.” Gon responded weakly as he tried to think of a way out. Illumi hummed and nodded, pausing when the boy’s stomach released a loud growl. 

Gon blushed a little, embarrassed. “You’re hungry.”

“No I’m not!” Gon pouted and tilted his head, glaring at the older man from over his shoulder. “But your stomach growled.”

“… So.”

“So that means you’re hungry.” Illumi reached into his shirt, pulling out a syringe while the boy looked away. He silently scooted closer. ‘The wrist or rear would be preferable, but I can’t get to those places without him getting startled… I don’t think I could properly inject this in anywhere when he’s awake.’ Gon shifted a little, curling up more. 

‘And if I open the door he’ll bolt for it. I’ll have to use brute force.’ He couldn’t think of any other solution.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updating for everything is going to be slow :(

He slowly reached into the cage with his free hand before quickly curling his fingers around Gon’s neck, holding onto him tightly. The younger immediately started to grunt and thrash about, trying to punch and claw at the arm. 

Illumi placed the needle aside, reaching in the cage and grabbing Gon, pulling him out. 

He continued holding onto his throat, pulling him into his lap and grabbing the syringe. Gon’s eyes widened and he struggled harder. “S-stop! What are you- ow!” He winced as the needle slid into his neck, he paused, not wanting to cause any damage to his body. Illumi smiled softly, pushing the plunger and letting the substance fill Gon’s veins. 

He watched as the boy tried to make sense, tried to think of what was going inside of him. A thin layer of sweat blanketed his skin, the candle light giving a warm glow to it. ‘No wonder Hisoka stares at him so much, he is quite a sight.’ Illumi slowly slid the syringe out, tucking it back in a hidden pocket. He moved to wrap that arm around Gon’s waist, keeping him still as the drug flowed and started to slowly numb the boy’s body. 

Gon whimpered, squirming now that the needle was safely out of his neck he had nothing holding him back. He twisted and struggled as hard as he could in the holder’s grasp, noticing that as time slowly passed he had started to become weaker and weaker. ‘Why is it so hard to move?!’ He panicked, starting to lose his breath. Eventually he couldn’t move anything except his eyes, which darted around like a frightened animal’s. 

Illumi looked over Gon’s body, smiling softly when he noticed he couldn’t move. He let go of his throat, gently rubbing the puncture wound with his thumb. “You’re fine, don’t worry. You won’t be able to move for a few hours but don’t worry, I’ll make sure to give you another injection before you regain mobility.” Illumi explained, shifting the limp boy in his arms then pulling out the package of tissues. 

He pulled one out, gently cleaning Gon’s nose. The boy blushed a little, his eyebrows trying to furrow down in confusion. “What are you doing…?” Illumi raised his eyebrows a little, folding the tissue and setting it aside. ‘Since he’s been having such a runny nose I might as well have a trashcan here…’ He added on to the mental list. “You seem to be sick. A lady on the train gave us tissues.”

“Lady on the… what?” He asked confusedly. “We took a train and met an old woman. She saw your running nose so she gave us tissues. You were unconscious at the time.” Illumi nodded, gently cradling Gon. ‘I remember holding Kilu like this when he was a child.’ Gon looked up at the assassin with a confused expression. 

Then again, everything about this was confusing. ‘I hate this. I can’t move anything, and just being able to look around isn’t going to help.’ Gon frowned a little, not being able to move his mouth much. ‘I honestly can’t think of any way out of this…’ But he had time, that was for sure. One way or another he was going to escape.

Illumi stood up slowly, moving over to the corner of the room and setting Gon down, the boy’s body going limp against the cold stone wall. 

Gon shivered, glaring up at the assassin. “I will be back in a moment.” Illumi said stiffly before walking out of the room, shutting the door behind him. Gon glared at the door, trying to for some plan.

It had been maybe thirteen minutes and Gon still had nothing. He didn’t know the area, he didn’t know who else was here, and there was no way he could navigate through this entire house alone. 

His heart nearly stopped in his chest when the large metal door scraped against the floor as it opened. Gon watched as a pale hand pushed the door open even further, veins straining against the porcelain skin. Illumi walked into the room, pushing the door shut behind him, causing the room to grow mostly dark once again. 

Gon scanned the man over, trying to see what he brought. Illumi walked over to Gon with silent steps, crouching down in front of him. Gon peered at the ceramic bowl in the young man’s hands, a fine rich purple detailing the base of it. He watched as steam rose, dissipating into the air into creative swirls. Gon sniffled, a pleasant warmness filling his nose and stomach which rumbled in anticipation. 

Illumi quirked a brow, looking at the younger’s stomach. “You must be really hungry…” He muttered, reaching one hand out to press against Gon’s stomach as if that would tell him the child’s hunger status. 

The young boy stiffened up, looking down at Illumi’s hand nervously as the rest of his body stayed still. After a few seconds the Zoldyck removed his hand, instead picking up the spoon that sat lazily in the bowl, drifting about. 

He scooped up a small amount and raised it to his lips, gently blowing. He gently blew on it one more time before reaching out and carefully parting Gon’s lips, placing the end of the spoon in and tilting it- letting the soup pour into Gon’s mouth. He withdrew and closed Gon’s mouth for him, tilting his head back and letting his natural reflexes swallow for him. He then retreated the spoon back into the bowl, and repeated the process. 

It took nearly an hour for Gon to finish the soup, and when he did he felt extremely relaxed and content. His stomach was warm and filled, making him a little drowsy. “I’ll be back in a few moments.” Illumi said before getting up and leaving the cold room. 

Gon felt his lips turn downwards slightly, but couldn’t quite understand why. He tried to move his arms, but of course the drug was still In effect. He couldn’t even twitch his fingers. A wave of disappointment crashed into the boy like a tidal wave, knocking most hope and ambitions out of him. 

The true feeling of utter helplessness and loneliness. 

It was almost too much. 

Gon felt tears prick at the corners of his eyes. He wished he could wipe his eyes on his shoulders, just something, anything. What made it worse was that he couldn’t even move his lips to let the cries out, instead having to bottle all of it up. 

He wanted to cry so badly. He wanted to cry because of the loneliness that clawed at his heart and lungs, making them burn as hot tears rolled down his tan, plump cheeks. He couldn’t stop even if he wanted to. 

And just the thought of Illumi coming back to see him like this made him feel even worse, as if Illumi would take once glance at him and know that the boy was helpless and crushed. He cried out of loneliness, and fear. The two emotions mixing together to cause a pain Gon wasn’t familiar with. 

Sooner than the lost little boy would have liked, the familiar scraping of metal sounded Illumi’s arrival. Just like last time he pushed open the heavy door and stepped through, shutting it behind him. Gon’s curiosity perked slightly when he saw a small trashcan in the eldest child’s hands. 

He walked over and sat it next to Gon’s cage before approaching the boy himself with slow, small steps. His hair gently bounced, making a somewhat elegant movement in contrast to Illumi’s deadly prowl. ‘His body language is terrifying…’ Gon thought as he watched the older male crouch in front of him, long hair draping over his shoulders and ending on the floor in spirals. 

Beautiful but terrifying was one way to describe him. Gon thought and almost laughed, knowing Killua would smack him upside the head for even thinking something like that about his older brother. 

Illumi leaned down and reached out, brushing a few hairs out of Gon’s forehead. Illumi slowly tilted his head, large eyes quickly darting across Gon’s face from his forehead, to his cheeks, to his chin, and back up. 

“You’re… Crying. Why? Did you somehow get hurt while I was gone..?” He started to check him for wounds, moving his face this way and that for easier inspection. Gon couldn’t reply, his lips unable to move from the drug and his throat tight from the tears. 

Illumi sighed softly. “You look fine.” He tried to think of why the younger was crying. Meanwhile Gon tried to hold in the rest of his tears, watching the pale man with watery eyes. 

“Oh… Your nose is running again…” Illumi noticed before taking out another tissue and carefully wiping Gon’s nose. 

The younger boy sniffled, wishing all of this wasn’t real, and that he could be back with Killua, just having fun. Illumi finished and stood up, walking over to the trashcan and throwing away the used tissue along with the one before. 

He went over to the entrance of the cage and opened it up. 

Gon stared at the metal bar door. 

‘It’s so cold…’ 

He frowned, not wanting to go back in. ‘And so lonely…’ His lip started to quiver on its own as Illumi picked up his limp body and placed him inside, not bothering to cover him up with the blanket as he shut the door and slid the locks in place. 

Once again, Gon was alone as Illumi left, shutting the big door with ease before making his way to an unknown destination. Honestly, if Gon could, he would call out, begging him to come back. He just didn’t want to be alone. His mood was bummed out even more as he couldn’t curl up, or pull the blanket up to cover himself. 

 

It dropped below 30 degrees that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is why Gon shouldn't wear a stupid tank-top and booty-shorts. He's obviously gonna get cold.


	10. Chapter Ten

Illumi gradually woke up, rubbing his eyes as he sat up with a quiet yawn. He stayed there for a few moments, waiting for his eyes to adjust as they stared blankly ahead of him. Eventually he got up, getting dressed and entering the hallway, stopping one of the butlers to make him some warm tea. 

They nodded, scurrying off to do so as he continued walking. He descended down the stairs, arriving at the big metal door. He gripped the handle and pushed, opening it with ease. 

Once he was inside he shut the door then stepped over to the cage at the back of the room, crouching down and peeking in. 

Gon looked terrible. 

His nose was even redder, he was shaking, and even though the drug had most likely wore out he wasn’t making any attempt of escape. His lips had a faint shade of purplish-blue mixed in with them. Illumi tilted his head, noticing that the blanket barely covered his legs and even then it wouldn’t have provided much protection against the cold anyways. ‘Is he dead?’ Illumi questioned in his head, reaching forward and unlocking the cage. 

He opened the door, carefully grabbing Gon and dragging him out. He pressed two fingers to a spot in his neck just below the jaw, nodding to himself when he found a dull pulse, confirming life. “Well, you’re not dead.” He rolled him onto his back, pressing the back of his hand to the younger’s forehead. “But your temperature is super high… The rest of you is ice cold.” He frowned slightly, looking up at the cage. He couldn’t stay there every night… He would die eventually. 

A sudden cold front had hit them and there was another one coming. 

 

Illumi didn’t watch the weather much but one of the butlers were quite interested in it and didn’t mind sharing the information they knew if Illumi asked. Gon shivered violently against the cold ground, his teeth chattering. 

Illumi pulled him into his lap and Gon immediately woke up. He quickly buried his face into Illumi’s chest, desperate for warmth. Illumi looked down, noticing that his cheeks were red from stained tears. ‘He must have cried more.’ He thought, not sure if he wanted to comfort the small child or if this was enough. 

Gon continued shivering, rubbing his legs together for warmth and running his hands along Illumi’s bare arms to make friction. Illumi couldn’t help but let a small smile grace his lips. ‘He’s so dependent now… Then again he doesn’t have much of a choice.’ Illumi thought, bringing Gon closer. ‘If only Kilu were this needy…’ He almost let out a disappointed sigh, gently kneading his knuckles into Gon’s back, trying to comfort him. 

Gon leaned up further and nuzzled his nose into the base of Illumi’s neck, making the other give a small jump from having something so close to one of his vital points. 

Illumi stiffened up slightly before relaxing again. Gon’s ears perked up but he didn’t move when someone knocked on the door. Illumi looked up and began to grab Gon’s hands, removing them from his body. Gon immediately started to make little whines, desperately reaching for Illumi. 

The Zoldyck couldn’t say that he didn’t feel a twinge of emotion. Illumi swallowed, pushing Gon away before standing up and walking over to the metal door, opening it. He took the little cup of tea from the butler with a nod before shutting the door, walking back to Gon and sitting down in front of him. 

Gon was instantly curled up in his lap. Pressing his face into Illumi’s neck once again. The older male gently pushed Gon’s face away with one hand, holding the tea cup to him with the other. “Be careful. It’s hot. Don’t burn your tongue.” Illumi warned, resting his hands on his knees when Gon shakily and gratefully took the cup. He raised it to his lips, closing his eyes and tilting his head back. Illumi watched as Gon took little sips, just like he was warned. 

Gon finished, holding the cup out to Illumi before wiping his mouth on his sleeve. Illumi took the cup and leaned over, setting it next to the cage. 

‘I’ll grab it later.’ He made a mental note to himself, looking back at Gon who once again immediately pressed his nose to Illumi’s neck. “Th-thank… you…” He croaked out. His voice was weak and shaky. ‘Perhaps I’ve already broken him? I doubt it, but sickness plus depression can lead to a fragile mind.’ 

Illumi hoped that was the case.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HEY GUESS WHO IS AN IDIOT AND ACCIDENTALLY DELETED THIS CHAPTER YEP IT WAS ME

Gon sighed contently into Illumi’s neck, gripping his shoulders. 

 

He sniffled and turned his head to cough into his own shoulder, his body giving little jolts. Illumi resisted the urge to pet down his hair like he did with Killua, instead just settling with watching him. Gon groaned weakly, rubbing his nose. Illumi brought out another tissue and gently grabbed Gon’s chin to angle his face as he wiped the snot away. 

 

“Move, I have to get up.” He said stoically. Gon frowned. “But… don’t want… you to go…” He gave another cough. Illumi frowned as well but sighed, pulling Gon close and cupping his rear with his free hand to carry him as he stood up and walked over to the trashcan, throwing the used tissue away. 

 

Gon latched onto Illumi as he sat back down, rubbing his nose into his sternum. Illumi looked down and watched, his long hair draping over Gon’s shoulder and down his back. The younger sighed and closed his eyes, resting against Illumi’s chest. 

 

The older male reached up and gently gripped Gon’s arm, a little concerned when it was still ice cold. He began to gently stroke it, giving a little more heat to the poor boy. “How did you sleep?” Illumi asked, just for the sake of not having the younger fall asleep in his arms. 

 

“Terribly…” Gon muttered, his breathing a little faster than it should be. 

 

Illumi nodded and glanced at the cage, seeing that it wasn’t the most comfortable of options and not being able to move probably had made it worse. “How did… You sleep..?” Gon asked back, his body giving small shivers. “Hm?” Illumi looked down at Gon, quirking a brow. “Oh… I slept… Well, I suppose…” He hummed softly, a little taken by surprise, not expecting Gon to be interested. The younger nodded, sniffling again. 

“Does anything feel off? Like a stomach ache?” He asked, hoping that the information he would receive would give insight into if the boy had contracted an illness. 

 

Gon nodded, turning his head to cough again. “N-no… I don’t think so…” He mumbled, shivering more and returning his nose to the crook of Illumi’s neck. At this point he let him, figuring that the younger most likely wouldn’t try to kill him while he was in this state. 

 

“Well, I think you just need a little rest, then you should be fine.” Illumi said, kneading his knuckled into Gon’s back again. ‘His clothes are thin too… And these shorts aren’t helping either.’ He thought, letting his hands lower themselves to brush against Gon’s thighs. Gon let out a shudder, but not from being cold. His muscles stiffened up, a soft gasp leaving his parted lips into Illumi’s neck, who shuddered as well from the hot breath on his neck. 

 

Ok, maybe it wasn’t the smartest idea to stroke a boy’s thighs, but Illumi didn’t mean to… “Provoke” Gon… He quickly retreated his hands, deciding that it was enough touch for now. He decided to not acknowledge his little mistake. “You should probably eat, it’s time for breakfast,” Illumi suggested. “I can go get you something-“  
“No. Please don’t… go…” Gon mumbled, holding onto Illumi tightly. The older male, quirked an arched brow quizzically. 

 

“But… Don’t you want to eat?” He asked. Gon paused before giving a small nod. “Yes… But I don’t want you to leave…” He yawned, moving one hand to rub at his eyes. Illumi sighed. “I won’t be gone for long.”  
“But you might not come back.” He said, his voice small and weak. Illumi could hardly believe that this was the same kid who had such determination earlier. 

 

“Why do you care if I didn’t come back?” He asked. Besides from the simple reasoning of Gon obviously dying he wanted know what else was eating at the small boy. 

 

The younger shivered, holding Illumi with an iron grip. He never gave an answer. Eventually, Illumi became disinterested and with only barely a fraction of his strength pushed Gon off his lap. The boy, for some reason, didn’t fight back or try to get up to chase after him. Gon just laid there on the cold floor, his body limp as he blankly stared ahead. 

 

Illumi stood up, brushed off his pants, then left the room, the sound of the door closing sending a chill colder than anything he’s felt before straight to Gon’s heart.


	12. Mollip The Butler

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Omg guys kill me it's been a rough night

Deciding that soup was probably the best option still, Illumi grabbed a small porcelain bowl, filled it up, and grabbed a spoon. He made his way back down, only catching a few stares from the butlers and servants. He nudged the door open with his shoulder and walked in, shutting it with his foot behind him. 

 

He yawned silently, still a hint of drowsiness lingering in his system that he seemed to not be able to kick out. He walked over to Gon, sitting down and holding the bowl carefully. “Boy, come here.” He called out softly to Gon’s limp body. He frowned a little, which really didn’t show much on his neutral face. “Gon.” He tried, willing to use the child’s name. The little boy gave a soft whine followed by a sniffle. Illumi paused, watching as his chest quivered with silent sobs. 

 

The taller of the two approached, sitting down once more. “…” Illumi stared at Gon with a slightly shocked face. He didn’t climb into his lap. He didn’t move at all. Illumi felt something sting in his chest, but he wasn’t quite sure what it was. ‘Perhaps… Joy? Relief?’ He thought. Gon’s body was starting to still. 

 

Illumi’s eyes widened more than usual and he felt his lungs tighten up. ‘What is… this?’ His brain started to run wild as the small ribcage slowed its pace. Little by little. 

 

What felt like seconds in reality was minutes. Small fingers twitched before going limp. Dull eyes went duller. Illumi couldn’t move, he felt his own breathing pick up, contrary to Gon’s. ‘This is… Joy.’ He tried to convince himself. ‘He’s… dying… I should be… Happy.’ Gon stopped moving. Illumi almost cried for the first time in years. He quickly set the bowl aside, lunging forward and grabbing Gon. 

 

He cradled the boy in his arms, dashing to the door and gripping it with a ferocity he had never held before. The metal hatch swinging open easily. He ran upstairs, Gon bouncing lightly in his arms as he almost knocked down about three servants on his way to the nearest spare bedroom. He quickly opened the door, approaching the bed with long steps. Illumi carefully laid Gon down, covering him with the thin blanket that was nearby. He cursed. “Why are they so thin?!” Illumi hissed. Well, he knew why. The Zoldycks were known for their resistance to the elements. 

 

A thick blanket was unnecessary for them or their servants. Or anyone they would deem worthy to spend a night in their mansion. Illumi threaded long and slender fingers through his hair. He heard the pit pat of feet making their way to the room they were currently situated in. They were light and cheery steps, which ruled out it being any family member.   
A curious head poked in the doorway. 

 

“Master Illumi…? Is everything alright…?” The servant asked, his voice quiet yet concerned for the wellbeing of the Zoldyck. Illumi’s eyes brightened up. He quickly walked up to the servant, making the other reel back slightly in intimidation. “Blankets.”

 

“I beg your pardon?” The servant asked. Illumi was starting to lose his composure. “Blankets! I need blankets, as many as you can carry!”

 

“O-oh! Alright, I’ll go ask Mulugh for he-“

 

“There’s not enough time! Go!” Illumi pushed at the servants shoulder, hurrying him. With a few nods the young man darted off down the hallway, thankfully seeming to know where they were. Illumi was starting to breathe hard. He glanced back at Gon. ‘I’m doing this… For Killua.’ He tried to convince himself before running as fast as he could down the halls, making turns to a private location not many were allowed to visit.

 

Eventually the white-haired servant had gathered up about four blankets in his arms. He quickly walked back to the room, making a few wrong turns and ending up at a few wrong destinations, before arriving at the right one. The door was still open wide. “Master Illumi sure was in a hurry.” He whistled, walking into the room a little less rushed. He gazed around the room, it was one of their smaller ones. 

 

It was mostly bland, dull gray wallpaper with a dark blue bedframe that was covered by a white blanket. He walked up to the bed, noticing that it had a particularly large lump in it. 

 

His face contorted slightly into one of confusion as he sat the stacked and folded blankets aside, hesitantly pinching the top of the white blanket and pulling it back. He gasped quietly, eyes wide as he took in the sight of a child who only let out a wispy breath. “My goodness…” He muttered. “A… child…?” He questioned in disbelief. 

 

He blinked a few times before setting aside his questions, returning his mind to the matter of orders. ‘The blankets must be for him.’ He figured, reposition the white blanket on the child before adding four more layers. When he finished he returned his curious gaze to the black haired boy. 

 

He wasn’t all that clean, and dark bags that belonged to an elder loomed under his eyes. The servant carefully took seat next to the young boy. ‘I wonder how old he is…’ He thought, reaching forward to carefully push a clump of bangs away from the kid’s greasy forehead. He frowned. ‘He hasn’t been bathed…? There’s no way that Master Illumi would take a child in from the streets… And he’s been at home for the most part. Has he been harboring this poor boy?’ Anger started to swell in the servant’s stomach. 

 

He sighed, frustrated. He hated when children weren’t taken care of. He paused, glancing back at the boy when he gave a shiver and a whimper. He carefully pulled off his glove, placing his pale hand to the younger’s forehead. He gasped, quickly moving his hand to press against the boy’s cheeks, neck, and arms. 

 

“My god! You’re freezing!” He said, shocked. ‘No wonder Master Illumi wanted to get more blankets’. He pressed his palm to his forehead and groaned, trying to think. He perked up when the small boy turned a little, his breathing a little labored. 

 

Gon whimpered quietly, clutching onto one of the blankets with his small fists. He was still shivering, but a lot less at this point. He started to let one hand journey about, the last thing he remembered was Illumi leaving… And then. This. He sniffled, his nose starting to burn as his lungs tightened up and tears built up behind his closed eye-lids. “I-I…” He tried to form words, catching the servant’s attention even more. He sniffled, his nose getting runny again. 

 

“I-Illumi… Please, come back… He mewled. A soft hand gently stroked his cheek, making him eagerly open his eyes. 

 

“I-Illumi..?” His voice came out hopeful. Instead of beautiful, long black hair, he met short and curly white hair. He trailed his eyes down to a kind and cheery face with rosy pink cheeks. He tilted his head a little, still crying. 

 

“Wh-where’s… I-Illumi…?” He asked weakly. The white-haired man smiled encouragingly. “Master Illumi will be here soon. He went to go get you more blankets.” He reassured, gently petting Gon’s arm. The younger boy sniffled, giving a small whine. “I-I… I miss him… Please bring him back. I need him.” Gon’s cries grew. The servant’s smile dropped and was replaced with a small frown. “No, no, no! Don’t cry, little one! It’s ok!” He quickly wiped away the tan boy’s tears. “He’ll be back soon, I promise. He seemed very worried.” The older male tried to calm down the boy. It worked, and Gon tried to stop crying so he could talk properly. 

 

“H-he… He did?” Gon asked hopefully. The servant gave a small nod. “Yes… He did.” He wiped away the last few tears. Gon nodded. “O-okay…” He seemed to accept it quickly, and the information gave him a peaceful thought, making him nearly stop crying. 

 

“I’m Mollip.” The servant said softly. Gon looked up at him and offered a weak and small smile, his lips quivering a little. 

 

“I-I’m Gon.” He responded. “Hello, Gon. I’m one of the servants for the Zoldyck family, if you couldn’t tell.” He chuckled softly. Gon nodded, not bothering to wipe his nose as snot layered the area beneath it. “Now… What are you doing here?” He asked, smoothing down greasy black hair. Gon pouted a little, leaning into the touch. “Illumi… Brought me here. He took me away from my best friend.” He blinked a few times, his eyes starting to irritate him. Mollip frowned. “So he… Kidnapped you?” 

 

Gon nodded and closed his eyes, exhaustion starting to win over. “You poor thing…” Mollip sighed. Gon gave a weak smile of determination. “It’s okay though… B-because I’m going to escape and find Killua again.” He said quietly, his voice a little cracked and shaky. The servant chuckled and smiled. “You’re best friends with Master Killua?” He asked and Gon shook his head yes. “Well then… I’m glad he’s got such a brave friend like you.” Gon blushed a little but otherwise took the compliment with gratitude. “Th-thank you.” He muttered.

 

Mollip perked up a little when he heard rushed footsteps heading this way. He stood up and walked over to the door, opening it further. Just as he thought, Illumi came rushing in, a thick dark purple blanket draping over his shoulders. 

He quickly spread it on Gon, his breathing slightly heavy. He turned to give Mollip an acknowledging glance. “Thank you… You are dismissed.” Mollip nodded and gave a small wave to Gon, who tried his best to return it, then quietly left, shutting the door behind him. Gon turned his dull half-lidded gaze onto Illumi, his lips quivering every once in a while. Illumi stared back at him, trying to catch his breath that wasn’t lost from running. “Are you… Cold…?” He eventually asked after a few moments of awkward staring and something akin to guilt clawing at his throat. Gon’s face was so… Lifeless. He turned his head up a little and gave the smallest of nods. 

 

“S-so…” He stuttered out. “Cold…” He gently gripped the blankets but didn’t bother covering himself more. Illumi clenched his fists. “I didn’t…” He started, but couldn’t find a way to continue or finish. Gon was still staring at him, almost looking like he was on the verge of tears. Illumi sat down on the edge of the bed, near Gon. He wasn’t quite sure what to do or say. So he stuck with what his father told him. 

“Just try to go to sleep… You should feel better after a couple days of rest. I’ll continue bringing you warm food, and will treat you gently unless you try to escape.” Illumi said quietly, unable to maintain eye-contact any longer. Gon shakily reached out, gripping Illumi’s shirt. 

 

“Please…” He whispered, eyes slowly drooping. Illumi held a breath as Gon slowly shifted, using all his strength to move. “G-Gon… Don’t-“ He was cut off by Gon plopping his head into the older’s lap. A large smile was on his face. He buried his nose into Illumi’s stomach, letting his eyes close all the way and finally settling. The young and very ill boy quickly fell asleep. Illumi was stiff, forcing himself to swallow the lump in his throat. He rested his hands on the soft mattress, looking down at the sleeping child. A million questions were running through his head, and he had the answers to none of them. 

 

The older of the two let out a sigh, followed by a yawn. He quirked a brow. Funny, he wasn’t tired, but perhaps all of this stress at once made him drowsy. He accepted his body’s want and carefully laid back, trying his best to not disturb Gon. His hair splayed out on the dark purple blanket, his dark eyes peering at the white ceiling. 

 

Slowly, he let his heavy lids fall, moving one hand down to gently tangle his fingers in greasy black hair. A shower was definitely needed.


	13. A Bath is Needed

Illumi woke hours later. He lost track of time but guessed that it was most likely some time in the afternoon. The lanky man slid up into a sitting position, rubbing his eyes before glancing down at his lap. Gon was sleeping soundly, his lips parted as he breathed through them. Illumi held in a shudder, remembering how when he was younger he’d do the same and wake up with a dry throat. Keeping that in mind Illumi scooted Gon’s head aside before standing up and stretching his neck a little, eyes adjusting to the poorly lit room. 

A sigh parted his lips. Illumi went to the kitchen to grab a glass of water before returning to the room that would most likely be Gon’s for the next few days. He gently nudged open the door with his foot, his breath catching in his throat when he noticed Gon had moved, but not by much. His head was dangling off the side of the bed along with one arm while the rest of his body laid limp on the bed. A small smile tugged at the corners of the man’s lips before quickly twitching back into place. 

“Gon.” He said, walking over and grabbing the child’s shoulder, turning him over onto his back. “Wake up.” Illumi ordered, placing the cup on the bedside table then staring at Gon who didn’t move or wake. A small sneer grew in his throat. 

“Up.” He growled quietly, pinching the bridge of the kid’s nose. After a few seconds Gon’s eyes shot open and he sat up quickly, pushing away the pale fingers that gripped him. “O-Ow…” He muttered, rubbing his nose carefully and staring up at Illumi with large eyes that haunted him. “I brought you water.” He said solemnly before cupping the glass and handing it to the younger who held it with both tan hands. 

“Awh… Thank you, Illumi.” He smiled faintly, making Illumi’s heart jump a bit, then took a sip that lasted until half the cup was drained. Illumi didn’t bother saying “you’re welcome”, but Gon didn’t seem to not mind. “Gon, after your drink you’re going to take a bath.” Illumi said, standing stiffly as he usually did. The younger yawned then took another sip. “Alright.” He mumbled, cheeks flushed and eyes a little puffy. He seemed so… Tired. Illumi once again hoped that he didn’t need to call a doctor. 

“I’m done!” Gon said cheerily but Illumi noticed something was a little off. The drawl of exhaustion. The older man nodded, setting the empty cup aside. Gon slowly stood up, stumbling a little and moaning out of pain. “Can you walk?” Illumi asked, glancing at wobbly legs. 

Gon shuttered, a chill running down his spine as he nodded his head yes. “I-I can…” He mumbled, one hand gripping the purple blanket as he walked down along the side of the bed, eyes set on the closed door. Illumi walked ahead of him and opened the door, leaving the room. Once Gon successfully made it out he leaned against the wall, panting softly and staring up at Illumi. 

“Where’s… The bathroom?” He asked, hoping it wouldn’t be too far or else he probably wouldn’t be able to make it. “Five halls down, first room on the right.”

“No way!” Gon marveled, brown eyes wide. “Yes way.” Illumi replied dryly. Gon groaned and rubbed his tired eyes, darkness beginning to speckle the corners of his vision. 

Before he knew it he felt a gush of wind hit his face as he suddenly fell. Illumi was a miracle, and often seemed as if he defied the speed of light. His slim limbs wrapped themselves securely around Gon’s waist and neck, pulling him close and tucking him against his own lengthy body. Gon felt dizzy from the movements and decided to keep his eyes closed. Illumi sighed, knowing that this probably wasn’t going to work in the first place. 

He stood back up to his full height, carrying Gon, and walked to the far away bathroom.

It was easy to strip Gon of his clothes, considering he was too tired to fight but also probably knew that Illumi’s goal in this situation wasn’t to hurt him. The bath was warm as he slid the young teen into it, the water level rising and lapping at Gon’s dirty skin. Illumi sat on the edge of the tub, dipping his hands into the water and rubbing a bar of soap against the tan stretch of smooth skin. 

Gon sighed contently, head tilted back and eyes shut as he let Illumi work. Time went by nearly silent as Illumi’s long fingers washed and scrubbed, getting rid of the filth. Then came Gon’s hair, which Illumi was starting to dread. It shouldn’t be too hard, considering Illumi’s own situation with his hair. So, after lots of shampoo, conditioner, and rinsing, Illumi finished. 

As he wrapped Gon up in a fluffy towel and brought him back to the previous room he wondered how Gon’s parental figure did this nearly every single day.


	14. Chapter 14- A Gon in Killua's Clothing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's short, we were having a lot of storms which really delayed everything 0w0

“Illumi?” Gon questioned softly, large eyes sleepily looking up at him. He was a lot cleaner now, and Illumi realized how much he liked seeing Gon’s skin without the dirt tinge to it. Illumi glanced at him, his form of acknowledgement. “It’s hot.” He mumbled, raising one hand to wipe at his eyes in an almost sleepy way. Illumi’s eyebrows furrowed down together for a second in a flash of confusion before settling back into their normal emotionless expression. 

“It is not; you are imagining it.” He replied, gently tugging the towel off of Gon’s body before setting it aside and wondering what he should do about the clothing situation. The only person that was near Gon’s size was Killua, however Illumi dreaded the thought of letting his prisoner of sorts wearing his dear brother’s clothing. It became a small debate in his head as Gon laid on the bed, naked and probably growing colder by the second. 

With a silent sigh Illumi turned and walked away, not bothering to tell Gon where he was going. As he walked to Killua’s old room the mental debate turned up again, causing him to randomly pause every once in a while to consider whether or not he should actually do this. No, Illumi had to. He couldn’t dare put the old, dirty clothes back onto the young teen or else the bath would have been for naught. It would be unreasonable to get custom made clothes ordered and there was no way he was going to take Gon out shopping. 

Illumi made the firm decision, not letting himself go back on it, and brought a pair of shorts along with a sweater back to Gon. Illumi nudged the door shut when he entered the lonely room, walking up to the bed and beginning to panic when he noticed Gon wasn’t laying there. Illumi briskly sat the clothes down, turning his head this way and that to see if there was any way Gon could have escaped- even if there was a window, the small child could barely sit up, it was impossible to even believe that he could run. 

Just as Illumi’s panicked state his its peak a small groan came from the side of the bed. The tall and slender teen paused, muscles freezing as a reflex from several grueling years of training. Illumi gently crawled onto the bed, peering over the edge on the right side where the noise had come from. 

Of course, there was Gon, butt naked and sprawled out on the floor- his eyes shut as he appeared to will himself to sleep. A scoff came out harshly through Illumi’s pale lips, his eyes narrowing as he recovered from the near heart attack. “Gon.” He called out even though he figured it was pointless. Gon appeared to be out of it, or at least near out of it. “Gon, it’s time to get dressed.” Illumi reached down, grabbing the smaller by the shoulder and dragging him up, more tired groans escaping the tan boy’s lips. 

Once he had Gon properly laid out he began clothing him, which thankfully wasn’t very difficult but did bring a bit of nostalgia to the forefront of his mind. Memories of when Killua was young, throwing a tantrum when Illumi had attempted to dress him. 

“These are Killua’s clothes…” Gon mumbled after he was sat up and awoken, his eyelids heavy with the desire to sleep. Illumi’s breath caught in his throat as he avoided looking at the sickly kid, the dark blue sweater a blur in his peripheral vision. 

“I like them, they’re soft.” He smiled softly, resting his hands on his stomach- enjoying the soft touch. Illumi glanced at the door, knowing that he shouldn’t leave but not exactly happy with staying. “I don’t have anything else for you, these were the only option.”

“It’s fine, it reminds me of Killua…” Gon yawned, eyes drifting shut as his body relaxed. Illumi noticed the movement and turned his head, a little surprised that after just waking up he was already out again. 

A mysterious boy, Gon Freecss.


	15. Awaken and Remorse

It was the morning after Killua found out about Gon’s disappearance. He slept, but it wasn’t good sleep. The young Zoldyck obviously could go on for days without rest, but this was Gon he was stressing over. Killua shook his head, rubbing his eyes before sighing deeply and turning his head, looking at his surroundings. 

He tried not to think of the worst- Gon was fairly strong so he doubted someone killed him and tossed his body in a river. Still, the idea was disturbing. Killua rolled up his sleeves, not bothering to do anything with the campfire since it had already gone out last night. 

He began what he figured was going to be a long trek, obviously not knowing where the kidnapper had taken his friend and considering it was while he was sleeping they had plenty of hours to escape. Killua’s heart dropped as the idea of them boarding a plane and flying to another continent crept into his mind. His anxiety was peaking, sending a chill down his spine that he tried to ignore and walked faster as if he could escape it. “I have to think rational.” He sighed, closing his eyes and furrowing his brows for a moment as he walked. 

“Who could have done this, is the real question.” It would have taken a lot of skill to have not alerted- even when the young Zoldyck was asleep he was a dangerous threat. Gon didn’t know many people anyways, so this person had to of been close- or at least close enough that they knew each other relatively well. 

Killua walked for while, losing track of time as he concentrated on who took Gon. The trees eventually began thinning out, dead grass being more common than anything. He glanced up, noticing a road up ahead. A town. Whoever took Gon could have stayed in a hotel! 

Killua’s heart jumped and his pulse picked up as he ran out into the middle of the road, glancing to the left and seeing nothing but road, but when he turned to the right he noticed a few buildings. A small trace of hope lifted the heavy weight of his heart as he began to sprint, eventually arriving at the large city in about ten minutes.

That hope he had from earlier began to dwindle, it was such a large place that there had to be several hotels, not counting motels. Killua really hoped Gon wasn’t taken to such a place. Looking around, he noticed the lack of signs (which nearly gave him a migraine). The only hope was to get a map which probably required money, and that was something he didn’t have. This really felt hopeless. Killua was sure that he would find Gon, he had resources that would make it impossible for Gon’s abductor to hide forever. 

Milluki was one such resource. 

A groan left Killua’s lips, he knew it was going to take some serious coercing for his reclusive brother to help him, or a few anime girl dolls he supposed.


	16. Doctor, Doctor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies if anything in the story doesn't quite match up with the anime, it has probably been almost a year since I've watched it but I do plan on re-watching it.

“Mollip, what are you doing?!” Another servant yelled, rushing up to the slim man. He huffed, taking the towel from his arm and quickly refolding it. Mollip paused, looking at the taller man questioningly. “I’m sorry…?”

“You better be! My dear Lord!” He grumbled, ranting as he skillfully tucked edges, moving much too fast for Mollip to comprehend. Before he knew it, the white-haired butler’s arm was tugged, the towel being firmly folded over it before his elbow was pressed back to his side. “Argone…” He whined softly, a little disgruntled. “No buts! Now quickly, Master Illumi called for you moments ago.” The red haired servant almost pouted, seeming jealous. Mollip gave a small shriek before nodding, turning and hurrying down the many, many halls. As he did, he passed by many other butlers, making him question exactly how many servants did a family of seven needed. 

To his surprise, he found Master Illumi standing outside the room where Gon was. To even more of his surprise, the tall, pale young man looked… Troubled? Perhaps gloomy? Mollip wasn’t quite sure, he had never seen such emotions on Illumi’s face. “Master Illumi?” He questioned politely, waiting for a command or question. The pale man seemed to not have heard him, for he stood silently a moment or two. Gradually, he began to turn his head towards the shorter man. 

“What should I do?” He asked quietly, his voice sounding soft, unsure. It took Mollip by surprise but he quickly recovered, understanding that there certainly was something wrong with his master. “What should you do about what, Master Illumi?” 

He didn’t receive a response- a verbal one, at least. Illumi looked down at the ground, one arm wrapped around his abdomen and the other one supporting his chin. The ravenette finally looked at the door, his dark eyes seeming to pour confusion and helplessness. “M-My Master, are you alright?” Mollip asked frantically, startled that the young man was seemingly coming undone in front of him. He surely didn’t know what to do, and surely none of the other butlers would have either. “The boy.” Illumi admitted, seeming to clench his jaw and swallow. “The boy… Gon? I’m sorry, Master Illumi, I really don’t understand what you’re asking me.” 

“What should I do for Gon?” 

Sincerity. It hit Mollip in the chest like a bat. His master sounded so foreign, emotions not well performed on his tongue. “For Gon… Well, he’s obviously very unwell. I really think we should call a doctor; I believe whole-heartedly it’s the only way you can help him.” Mollip smiled sadly, knowing already this was going to be a difficult event. The Zoldycks had never needed medical assistance before (not including when Kikyo gave birth, of course), so they never had found the need to have a personal doctor. “… A doctor.” 

“Master Illumi, Gon looks mere inches ‘till death. I’m sorry to say that, but it’s true, I believe we both understand that.” Mollip’s mouth fell into a straight line as he tried his hardest not to quake under the pressure, Illumi killing him in an instant was a very real possibility, he had never stood up like this before- not to anyone. “I agree.” Illumi sighed quietly after a few minutes of thought. “He is not well; I do not know how to heal.” Only to hurt, it was his way. 

Mollip let his shoulders drop, the tension released. “Shall I call now to make an appointment?” He asked, watching as Illumi gave a longing stare at the hardwood door before flickering his black eyes to the wall in front of him. “If the doctor doesn’t agree to set up an appointment for today, say we’ll pay double. If that doesn’t work, then triple. So on so forth, understand?”

“Of course, Master Illumi.” Mollip smiled and bowed, leaving when he was dismissed. “That Gon… He’s one special boy.” He muttered as he walked down the hall, getting to the phone as soon as possible and beginning the rigorous bargaining process.


	17. Illumi Won't Rest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long, don't worry I'm still posting for this!!! I got really sick a few days ago and couldn't walk or move for the most part. Enough of my sob story thought! This is short but it's all I could write for now ;-;

Illumi had been in his room for several hours ever since the doctor had arrived. Mollip was quite surprised, he was almost sure that his master would be leering over the doctor’s shoulder, making sure nothing that he wasn’t okay with was going on. 

Then again, his master didn’t care that much for the boy, right? He was a prisoner after all. Mollip sighed and shook his head, he didn’t understand Illumi. 

To be honest, Illumi didn’t understand himself.

He sat at the edge of his bed, fingernails digging into the soft blanket beneath. He shouldn’t be concerned for that child, he knew that. He knew better than to drop to such humane lows such as caring and worrying for another (besides Killua, of course). Illumi lifted his hands, almost as if surrendering as he let out a heavy sigh, trying to contain himself. The slender man was getting flustered and excited over nothing- because Gon was nothing. 

Illumi took a few minutes to calm his breathing, letting his hands slowly resign to his lap as he stared at the wall, not used to having to deal with himself. He had been the perfect drone since he was a child. Thin strands of black swirled around his fingers, curling up his toned arms to where they were solidly planted along his scalp. 

The pale man hadn’t realized when he lowered his head- nor when his eyes closed. “I need to walk.” He thought to himself, dark eyes glancing up as he gracefully moved, standing. 

If you were standing in the same hall as Illumi, you wouldn’t know it. Unless of course, he wanted you to. It was habit to walk a certain way, his toes pointed forward and shifting his weight on specific joints at select moments. He was silent, to put it simply. Illumi’s eyes were set on the floor beneath him as he walked, not having a destination in mind. Just one foot after the other. 

“Ah, Master Illumi, have you come to check up on the boy?” Illumi almost jumped, blinking a few times as he tilted his head up, realizing he had almost run into a servant. “Mollip asked me to wait here while he ran to the bathroom.” The chatty butler continued, giving a smile (more so to themselves) before ranting on about how their day was going. 

Illumi realized with horror that he had subconsciously strolled back to Gon’s room, his lips turning downwards into a slight frown. “Master Illumi, is something troubling you?” The servant sounded concerned, looking up at the slender man. “I’m fine.” Illumi said sternly, glaring before clenching his fists. 

He glared at the door, scoffing before turning sharply and walking away as quickly as possible without seeming upset. 

Illumi Zoldyck didn’t get upset. Nor did he rest that night.


	18. A Shudder of Cold (Fright)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updating today since I've really fell off of schedule and everything is hectic because school is starting in a few days ;-;

Illumi had refused to be spoken too after he stormed off, even after Gon had been diagnosed. It was something close to a child’s tantrum, but of course Illumi was above that. Eventually though, he did have to crawl out of his room, his dark demeanor warding everyone off as he slowly went through the morning process. Illumi continued to bare his grim demeanor until he realized that he couldn’t just leave Gon alone, not like he expected him to escape, but no matter the occasion it was better safe than sorry. 

It was probably his fourth cup of coffee before he found it in himself to stand and walk down to that dark and lonely room. “He’s just another child.” Illumi reminded himself as he took one step after the other, although with how the young hunter made him act it didn’t appear as if he was just ‘another child’. 

Finally, he stopped walking, an old door greeting him with its dull apparel. His breathing seemed to fall irregular, as thoughts began to stir. He shouldn’t knock… Should he? It seemed like such a bizarre question, one that would be easy to answer with a simple ‘of course not!’. It wasn’t as if he had respect for the young boy, but he was raised strictly and such an act was in his genes. With a deep sigh, the lanky Zoldyck reached up and knocked on the door. Once. Twice. 

He gently lowered his hand, the fingers curled almost into a fist- but from what? Nerves? There was no such thing for a Zoldyck (with the exception of his mother). A soft “Come in!” came from the other side, making Illumi feel as if this was a horrible idea and he should have turned back the second he saw the door. With a silent breath, Illumi opened the door, a quiet squeak almost startling the man of quiet. He closed it behind him before turning to face the bed, his cold eyes locked onto the bright boy who was comfortably plopped in the sheets. Gon’s face turned into one of confusion before a wide smile grew. 

“Illumi! I thought you were Mollip!” He seemed excited, his bright eyes seeming almost hazy once the older of the two took a few steps closer. Gon was clean but… he still seemed so sickly. His lips were slightly parted, slow and shallow breaths departing him. Illumi couldn’t help but let his eyes narrow, almost upset with himself that he hadn’t been with the doctor to hear the diagnoses- there was no way that Gon was okay. 

The pale man grew even more concerned when he noticed just how many blankets there were, they littered the bed and even the floor by the bed, a stack of four on a nearby bed-side table. “Where have you been?” Gon asked, his hands folded in his lap, shaking ever so slightly. “Away.” Illumi answered stoically, turning his head away so he didn’t have to watch those normally upturned lips go south. It shouldn’t have bothered him, but then again none of this should have. 

He turned quickly when the door opened and shut, calming when he noticed it was just one of the servants. “Master Illumi, you’re here? My goodness, Gon has been waiting to see you! He must be over-joyed!” Mollip nearly cheered, bringing the blankets that were cradled in his arms over to the bed and laying them out. Gon couldn’t help but nod as his smile returned, his cheery attitude a mystery to Illumi. 

“The doctor, what did he say?” Illumi asked, turning his attention to the much shorter man. He knew it couldn’t have been good, the atmosphere in the room grew thick. “… The doctor was glad he got here so soon, I had to tell him that Gon was a cousin visiting.” This also didn’t make things better, Mollip seemed to be avoiding the question. The anxious man glanced to Gon before looking back up and taking a few steps closer to him (keeping a respectful distance, but he wanted to say this as quietly as possible). “Mollip, what is it?” 

“Gon has hypothermia.” He said quietly, eyes growing downcast. 

Illumi felt his muscles stiffen, not letting his breath catch in his throat. They both knew what caused it, spending even such a short time in that dark, freezing room was obviously enough. Illumi had knew it wasn’t the healthiest thing, but he wasn’t used to such fragile people. “Really.” Was the only response he could think of without giving away too much of his shock and other heavy feelings. 

“Thankfully we caught it quick, it’s barely a threat, but he still needs to be taken care of.” With how Mollip looked it didn’t seem that Gon was going to be okay. Why did Illumi even bother to keep him alive? It was an honest question, taking any morals out (that he didn’t posses in the first place). 

If Gon was dead and tossed out to the dog, Killua could finally grow up to be a strong assassin, to make his entire family proud. Illumi clenched his jaw, there wasn’t anything to lose if he died, now would be the perfect chance to exterminate the boy from his precious little brother’s life. 

Gon shivered, bringing the nearest blanket closer to him. “Illumi, are you going to leave again?” He asked, a sliver of hope in his voice. Illumi glanced at Mollip before sitting down on the bed, near Gon. “No, I’m not. I plan on staying for a bit.” He responded quietly. The smile he got in return was enough to take his breath away, and Illumi understood why he couldn’t just let Gon die and rot. 

It was a secret he’d keep.


	19. It won’t be our last days Together (Will It?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I believe we're actually getting sorta close to the end, it's been an amazing journey to receive all these inspiring and helpful comments that honestly have just made it worth it to continue writing this until the very end, thank you all

Illumi kept true to his words, staying with Gon for a little over three hours before quickly running out to grab a warm wet cloth. He knew he could easily just order a servant to do it, but if gave him an excuse to stretch his legs and get away from the eerily cheerful child. The tall man pushed a few dark wisps behind his shoulder, growing annoyed as they began to twist and knot at his breast, and figuring that he hadn’t brushed his hair nearly as much as he used to. Before Gon came along, he recalled as he gingerly wrung out the wash cloth, Illumi kept his long hair beautiful and tame- not a tangle dare mixed the silky strands. 

It wasn’t pleasing to realize that the young boy had changed something about him. Disturbing really, now that he thought about it. A small flame sparked his cold heart, his eyes narrowing as the fire stirred anger to hide the uncertainty and fear of being different than he was. Zoldycks weren’t normal people, they don’t grow and adapt, they learn how to survive and become near perfection at a young age. That was it. So he began to refuse that any change in his lifestyle was permanent or fixed, that he was simply… Accommodating the new event (which still stroke the fury of his fire). 

He gave a short huff through his nose, turning quickly and pacing back to the room he had come from, Illumi was just thinking too much. His slender fingers quietly twisted the doorknob, sliding in and shutting it before looking at the paling boy, strands of hair stuck to his no-longer plump cheeks. Illumi almost missed the rounds of skin that evoked memories of a very young Killua who had baby fat, his cheeks always so pinch-able. 

A cough and stir from Gon pulled his attention, the past memories fading as he approached and sat next to the tower of blankets, holding the cloth out (he wasn’t nearly ready to be as so kind to press it to his forehead for him). The young Freecss slowly opening and turning his head, lips parted with a soft pant as a wave of sickness had struck him half an hour ago. His fingers brushed the textured surface before curling and taking the gift, letting it fall onto his face and not bothering to fix it as his hand fell to the side of his head, causing the blankets to stir. Illumi happened to glance down. 

“You’re not wearing your shirt.” His voice sounded cold as ever, but the younger had been around enough to hear that whisper of confusion. “

Y-Yeah…” He sighed, giving a short cough and sniffling. “I know you and Mollip want me covered up as much as possible… But it’s so hot. I’m starting to sweat and I’m not even c-cold anymore.” His dark eyes opened to look up at Illumi pleadingly, as if doing so would compel him to remove the thick covers. The pale man quirked a brow, hesitantly moving his hand to Gon’s neck, cheek, and forehead. Was Gon going crazy? He was absolutely frigid. Not nearly as cold as before, but still awfully cool. “You’re still cold.”

“I’m not though!” He declared before groaning and closing his eyes, growing dizzy and weak. Illumi looked around for his shirt, noticing he had tucked it away between two blankets, the sneaky child, and collected it. “You’re putting this back on.” He voiced, not sure why since he didn’t often indulge himself in conversation. Gon didn’t reply, but simply shooed away with his hand in Illumi’s general direction, which was irksome. There was no way he was better by now, it had to be impossible. He figured he’d give Gon the rest of the day then force it back on him before he went to sleep and the night would tear away what little warmth the room possessed. 

Gon smiled on the inside, not being bothered and relaxing as much as he could to take a small nap. The paler of the two stood, hearing a knock at the door before it opened, Mollip looking surprised as he said Master Illumi had a call, and it was urgent. Illumi looked back at Gon, deciding that he could go since the small boy was asleep. His shoes tapped near silently as he walked down the hall, wondering what could be so urgent. He didn’t have any clients to attend to, and surely neither father or mother would need him. 

Soon enough his questions would be answered as he stopped and picked up one of the private phones, hoping it wasn’t an inconvenience that he left his pager in his room. “Hello, Zoldyck residence, Illumi Zoldyck presen-”  
“Illumi please, I need you.”

His heart thumped, his eyes widening as a rare expression crossed his face. His palms began to grow sweaty. “Killua, what is the matter?” He asked, appreciative that years of rigorous and de-humanizing training could prevent the eagerness in his voice. 

Killua was silent on the other end and the older Zoldyck swore he heard a shudder. “Gon… He’s disappeared. I don’t know what happened, and I have nothing to go off of.” The white haired boy sounded desperate, as if he was already at his wits end. 

“Listen, I thought I could just find him but it’s no use, I can’t ask Leorio or Kurapika- I figured that you could easily help me. Please.” His voice began to break but Illumi couldn’t believe it, his little brother never broke down. Killua tried to regain his composure. “I’ll do anything, just please help me Onii-chan.” Illumi felt his heart skip a beat, the brotherly compassion that he tried to hold back now breaking him down.   
Anything.

“Alright, I’ll help. Where are you? I’m sure we can send someone to pick you up.”

“I don’t know really… I’ll look around for a bit and then I’ll text you, yeah?” 

Illumi agreed softly, the call ended a little too quickly for his liking. His eyes were closed as his brain pulsed. His little brother was finally coming home. Killua was coming back- although, it was to enlist him as a personal tracking dog, he could ignore that. Illumi licked his pale lips, setting the phone down and unclenching his fist, not quite ready to return. His heart quivered as his mind raced to figure out a plan, something- anything. His feet moved before he could stop himself and he was back with a sleeping Gon faster than he had ever moved before. Mollip was gone, thank a higher power for that, this was embarrassing. His knees almost gave out as he shut the door, slamming it by accident, and sinking to his rear. His head tucked to his raised knees as his fingers clutched his pounding head. 

It felt like everything was screaming, he couldn’t see- everything was just a dull blur that only gave more wind to the howls inside his head. Gon had woken up, a little startled by the ruckus and the fact that the ruthless assassin was on the floor apparently in distress. Illumi wasn’t crying, he wasn’t able to. Nothing could bring a man as high of pride as he besides the death of family. 

Gon was not family. Gon was the monster that got him here in the first place- he tainted his family from the moment he took his first breath. Illumi wasn’t sure about destiny, but it seemed like the case at this point. First Killua, now Illumi? Who was the next Zoldyck to fall to their knees because of this unreasonable child-

“Illumi?” Gon’s breath was hot against his clammy hand. 

Illumi would have jumped from shock had he not been paralyzed with the approaching doom of his younger brother figuring this out and never loving him again. Illumi blinked, the curtain of hair around him preventing the younger from reading whatever expression his pained face was making. 

Gon took a shuddery breath, closing his eyes for a second (he got a head rush from moving to fast) before leaning forward, letting his forehead rest against the pale man’s shoulder as the rest of his body slumped against Illumi and the door. He didn’t expect to get through to the crashing assassin, but laying together was good enough. Illumi’s breath caught in his throat but he quickly settled, glad that Gon didn’t talk but gave a physical reassurance he was there. Illumi stared at the younger through the slim parts of his hair, a truly awful feeling bubbling up in his chest. 

It won’t be our last days together, will it?


	20. Here he Comes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My uploading schedule has been really thrown off but since there's only one more chapter after this I'm just going to try to update again this Sunday but no promises.

As soon as Illumi had recovered he ushered Gon back to bed, not willing to speak a word about what had just happened. He tucked the younger in beneath the mass of blankets before sitting down next to him, letting his breath settle. Gon had requested a story before taking his nap, to which Illumi didn’t oblige, but tucked him in nonetheless. Illumi sat with him for the rest of the day, and was there the moment Gon woke up late in the morning. 

“How do you feel?” Illumi asked, looking down at the drowsy young teen. “Hmm… Huh?” He yawned, sitting up a little and rubbing his eyes. “I’m all sweaty, it’s gross.” He whined softly, nudging some of the heavy blankets away. Illumi felt a little relieved, glad that he wasn’t cold. Relieved? Glad? Illumi’s lips turned down but he quickly pushed the thoughts away, now wasn’t the time. “Do you need anything?” The ravenette asked, tucking a long strand of hair behind his ear before peeling on of the blankets the rest of the way so Gon had some room to breathe. “I actually need to use the bathroom…” He confessed. Illumi nodded, “I’ll take you to the bathroom, lets go.” He stood, Gon eagerly getting up next to him. He shivered and stumbled a little, Illumi having to cup his shoulder to keep him upright as he led him out and down the hallway. 

Thankfully Illumi only had to help Gon into the bathroom, letting him take care of the rest. They made their way back, a servant catching them just at the door. “Master Illumi, Master Kil-” Before they could finish Illumi covered their mouth with a crushing grip, eyes narrow. He didn’t want Gon to know. The servant struggled, worried they were about to meet their quick and early end- it wasn’t uncommon for butlers in the Zoldyck family. 

“Gon, I’ll meet you in bed, go inside.” Illumi said, short and bitter like he usually did. Gon could feel the atmosphere grow heavy and dense, making his knees weak. “A-Alright.” He stuttered, feeling his heart pick up quickly. As soon as the Zoldyck let him go he opened the door, stumbling inside and shutting it with a thud before making his way to the bed and crawling under the blankets, hoping that he wouldn’t hear a scream. ‘Illumi’s not going to kill him… Is he…?” Gon trembled, his stomach feeling sick. 

Death wasn’t anything new, but having someone like Illumi with bloodlust and deadly intent didn’t settle too well. A few minutes later the door slowly creaked open, Illumi silently slipping inside and shutting it behind him. Gon was just peaking his head above the covers, eyes locked onto the young man. His heart settled a little from not spotting any blood, but the intense feeling of power was still coming from him. 

Illumi said nothing as he slid into the bed next to Gon, eyes half lidded. The boy stiffened up a little but rearranged himself so he was on his side, facing the slender and pale man. His jaw was clenched and his teeth were tightly pressed against each other, quickly growing sore but he couldn’t relax the taut muscles. Illumi slowly rolled his dead gaze over to the young boy, taking a long sigh through his nose. Killua was picked up and hallway here. The servant had informed him that they successfully found him and he was on his way. 

Illumi was of course glad that his sweet little brother was coming. But he wasn’t. His heart felt like it was being suffocated, pulled two ways at once. Never before had he cared about what his heart felt, it was always a one way road for him. There was never a time when he felt torn between two things. His prioritize felt scrambled and he was desperately trying to pick them up again, but they fell out of his arms one after the other. Helplessness.

Gon wondered if something happened, Killua’s older brother didn’t seem right. “Is there something wrong?” He asked, hoping that Illumi would respond. He shifted slightly, eyes seeming a little more lively. “Everything is alright, Gon.” He said quietly, resisting the urge to bite his cheek. The young boy gave a little nod and hum, figuring he’d just have to believe him. He’s had to rely on Illumi since his arrival. “Let’s just lay down for a moment longer.” Illumi mumbled, closing his eyes and trying to relax. Just to lay down and enjoy the quiet before the storm. 

Gon began to gently pat at his cheek after about a half hour. Illumi gave a silent yawn, not realizing he had dozed off. He was getting careless. His dark eyes blinked open to meet Gon’s bright hazel ones, his face seeming to have more color. Illumi couldn’t help the small warmth that he felt. “I’m really hungry.” Gon said, sitting up and putting his hand on his stomach. Illumi paused before sitting up as well, finding it reasonable. After all, the young boy hadn’t been eating much lately and it would probably do him good. “I’ll come back with something.” He assured before getting up and leaving, heading to the kitchen.

Time had never seemed so important to Illumi before. Of course there were dates that he had marked, time restraints that he usually had with clients. But never before had he such a personal acquaintance with time. Never before had he wanted more of it.


	21. The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter of Under the Blanket. I spent over 4 hours today just finishing it up and I really hope you all like and enjoy the ending I chose. Thank you so much for dealing with all the waiting and giving me so much support, I can't thank you all enough.

A cold breeze ruffled Killua’s hair as he stepped out of the car, bright eyes meeting the impenetrable gates. A familiar smirk stretched his thin lips as he began walking, his heart beating strongly with each step, a resolve stronger than mankind.

“Don’t worry, Gon”, he spoke out loud to himself, “I’m gonna make Illumi help me and you’ll be back in no time.” Fear no longer tugged his heart and head, only a murderous intent within him for the person who took his best friend in the world. His only friend.

Killua waved to the entrance office where tourist often gathered before walking around towards the actual entrance, easily making his way through them all and even stopping to talk to Mike. The butlers and servants of all kind greeted him with respect, a rehearsed smile on most of their faces. They didn’t mean anything to him though, he didn’t bother answering or greeting back, the only person he needed right now was his big brother. The white haired child was surprised Illumi hadn’t popped up the second he arrived on the premise, it was out of character. 

Illumi gently rested the back of his hand against Gon’s forehead. The younger gave a small, content sigh from the coolness of his knuckles against his almost sweaty skin. Illumi watched silently, as he usually did, and let his fingers linger, no longer seeming to just be checking his temperature. They enjoyed the quiet together, in the small and quaint room. Illumi wasn’t happy, he could never feel such a thing, but it sure seemed something close. It was a calm and peaceful emotion, one that had his heart thudding fondly, his eyes growing softer. He couldn’t control it and that was scary to him, but Illumi thought it was better that he couldn’t, so that he was unable to ruin it and hide it away. Gon seemed better too, he smiled more and his skin was very close to that once healthy tan that glowed with his bright personality. Illumi almost felt relieved that such a tender thing hadn’t been destroyed by his own reckless and merciless actions. The door was knocked on, making the older of the two quickly retract his hand as it opened and a servant peeked in. 

“Master Illumi, Master Killua is here.” He informed briefly before excusing himself and quickly leaving to go attend the others. His heart stopped in his pale chest, nerves tingling on edge. Illumi used to grow near ecstatic whenever his brother arrived, but now that feeling was accompanied with worry. He quickly looked down at Gon who shifted in attempts at sitting up, eyes droopy from drowsiness. “Did he say Killua was here?” The younger asked, seeming to grow more awake at the mention of his best friend. Illumi was quick to answer, not thinking twice about telling him the truth. “No, he didn’t.” He denied, eyebrows furrowing down just a bit. Gon gave him a small, confused look before giving a nod, figuring he was just tired or sick and misunderstood. Exhaustion crept up his bones and Illumi could see the sleep tugging at his eyes. “Gon, just rest. I’ll be here.” He reassured quietly but stiffly, his fingers hesitantly touching the younger’s shoulder. Within a moments pass the young black haired boy was out like a light on a cold, breezy night. Illumi quietly left the room after tucking him in, not wanting him to get cold.

Illumi strode down the hallway, his long legs taking him far in a short amount of time. He could almost feel his younger. Through years and years of training himself he was able to pick out that one special energy that seemed to resonate with his own. Soon enough Killua was there in the flesh, nearly bumped into him, his large blue eyes looking up at him. Illumi felt his heart thud in his chest, his precious little brother was still as remarkable as ever, his porcelain skin untainted and his attitude the same as the day he left. Pride was the emotion Killua jerked out of his very being every time they crossed paths.

“Yo, Aniki, I need your help.” Killua shoved his hands in his pockets, shifting his weight and cocking his hips. Illumi snapped out of his internal thoughts and blinked a few times, acknowledging his brother. Killua seemed to hesitate but the determined look in his eyes never wavered. “You’re the only one I think can help me, and to do it quick too.” He paused, glancing down the hall, why was he becoming anxious now? It’s as if something inside of him was screaming, a chill plucking his nerves. 

Illumi waited patiently, wondering what had the white haired boy so riled up and desperate enough to ask for his help. It must have had something to do with Gon. His heart raced from the thought and his eyes focused on his brother’s anxious for his question. “It’s… Gon, someone took him. I know he didn’t just leave he was kidnapped, and I don’t know anyone who could take him away from me right under my nose!” Killua paused, noticing his rising anger and bloodlust. “It must be someone really strong… Someone who’s honed in their skills to be the best, otherwise they couldn’t have slipped by me.” He looked up at his brother with pursed lips. “You must have a client who fits that description, an employer, and even if you don’t I know you could find the person who did it, I really need your help, Aniki.” 

He bit his lip, just now having the thought occur that Illumi would refuse. He wouldn’t, would he? Or would he want something in return. 

Illumi could never say no.

“I’ll help you.” Illumi said quietly without hesitation. There was next to nothing he wouldn’t do for his sweet and precious little brother. Kilu was the only thing that his dull heart throbbed for.   
At least, it was until now.

His bright blue eyes lit up as if it were Christmas morning and his presents hadn’t been booby-trapped. Killua moved quickly, turning his head to look down a few hallways before walking down one. Illumi eagerly followed, noticing after a silent moment that they were heading to his own room. Killua seemed to have still remembered which one it was, opening the door confidently, Illumi had thought he locked it, and striding inside. 

The older of the two followed suit and shut the door behind him, this time properly locking it as his brother sat down on the bed. “So can you think of any clients off the top of your head?” Killua asked, resting his palms on the soft blanket beneath him as he laid back. Illumi tried to think honestly for an answer. Probably every single one of his clients could take a boy like Gon, but in Killua’s presence he wasn’t so sure. “I’m not too sure. I don’t think many of them could take him from under your nose like that.”

“Huh… Well think about the people who are super strong and crazy powerful. Like ninjas or something.” Killua suggested casually but his skin still crept with that uneasy feeling since Gon wasn’t beside him. “Even if one of my clients were surely capable, I don’t believe any of them know about your little so called ‘friend’.” The dark hair man supplied, dark eyes fixed onto Killua’s bright ones. “That’s true…” He hummed, running his fingers through his hair and sighing in frustration. “I mean, who could have anything against Gon?” He asked out loud then paused, his hand slowly lowering to the sheets once more then clenching them tightly. His face seemed blank with a touch of shock, his pupils dilated. Illumi felt his throat burn and constrict, unsure of what to do. His brother must have figured him out. Illumi cursed himself for showing such disliking towards his brother’s little friend during the exams, now he stuck out like a sore thumb. Everyone else seemed to love Gon, he helped people and made friends along the way. Killua must have known it was him, no one else would have the skill to do such a thing.

“Hisoka.” Killua whispered under his breath, but a fiery passion of hot searing rage was thick on his tongue. Illumi snapped out of his internal thoughts to focus once more on the white haired boy. He blinked a few times, recalling what Killua had said. Hisoka. Illumi never thought he’d be so glad to hear the pyscho’s name. 

“Hisoka must have done it, I should have known from the start!” Killua yelled, growing angered and standing up, clenching his fists. “There was always something up with him during all of the exams! Always!” Killua gritted his teeth, his blood boiling. He really should have figured it out sooner, Hisoka had made some more than friendly gestures towards his best friend and was immensely strong and capable of such a task. Killua looked up at Illumi, eyes more determined than he’d ever seen them. “Illumi, you can find Hisoka right? If you find Hisoka, you’ll find Gon!” He declared, his anger seeming to slowly fade away and be replaced with excitement. Both for finding Gon and ripping Hisoka a new one. “I guess we know our target then. I’ll do my best, Kilu.” Illumi let out a very small, honest smile. He could pin all of this on Hisoka and get away scotch free. Maybe afterwards Gon could get better, and maybe Illumi could trust him enough and spoil him a little and take him outside for a bit. It seemed like heaven. Maybe his little brother would finally love him.

“Illumi, find him. I need to know where he is.” Said little brother spoke darkly, eyes serious and pale lips set in a firm straight line. “I’m going to kill him.” He nearly whispered with full intent, and Illumi believed it. Panic began to settle in. Killua intended to fight Hisoka. His heart almost stopped then and there. Killua was going to fight Hisoka, the person who even Illumi was fairly sure that he himself couldn’t beat. If his brother went up against Hisoka, he would die and there was no doubt about that. “Well, Aniki?” The white haired child crossed his arms over his chest, looking up at him with eyes that held no good intentions. “Kilu, I’ve changed my mind.” He said shortly, trying to keep his face neutral. Killua’s face; however, changed dramatically with his eyes going wide and his mouth falling open. 

“Wh-What do you mean?!” He demanded, taking a step closer and clenching his fists. “I’ve changed my mind; I’m not going to tell you where Hisoka is.” He cooed softly, a small hint of sadness tainting his expressions. He couldn’t imagine how upset his brother was- how upset with him he must be. Killua grabbed the front of his shirt, tugging him roughly and nearly snarling. 

“FIND OUT, AND TELL ME WHERE HE IS!” He screamed, Illumi grabbing his shoulders to keep him from shaking him. “Kilu, please stop.”

“Why can’t you help me?! You just said you would!!!” Killua glared up at him, his lip quivering. The black haired, slender man had never seen his little brother so distraught. It almost made him want to go back to day one, to redo what he did. He wished he had taken that train home alone. “ILLUMI!” Killua screamed and shouted, wanting an answer from the taller of the two. He sniffled, eyes becoming water and red and his nose beginning to run. 

Gon was within his pale palms, clutching his fingers for dear life, and now he had slipped, fallen to the sand below and sinking into Hisoka’s arms. It seemed that’s where he would stay. Illumi couldn’t help but feel himself become a little upset by this, he loosened his grip on the younger’s shoulders and tried to make it more comforting. He leaned down onto one knee as Killua held back tears that burned his Zoldyck pride along with his bright blue eyes. “Aniki, just help me, please!” Killua begged, feeling anger burn in his heart once more. “Just stop this and help me! Why won’t you?!” He yelled, clenching his fists. Illumi blinked and held his breath, trying to think of an answer. 

“Kilu, Hisoka is must too strong. I don’t believe you could hold up in a fight against him.” 

“What?! What kind of stupid idea is that! We could try to steal Gon back, and if that doesn’t work I’m sure that both of us together could defeat him!” Illumi knew he was probably right. Together they were most likely capable of overpowering him, but that made him even more worried. If they went along with the plan and Hisoka was gone, what would Killua say or do once he found out Gon wasn’t there? It was best just to deter him completely. “Killua, there’s no way, it just isn’t possible.” 

“Why are you protecting Hisoka?!”

“Killua don’t be ridiculous.” 

“You are! What’s in it for you, huh?!” Killua barred his teeth, seeming with anger and frustration, betrayed that his brother would do such a thing. “I’m not working with Hisoka.” It wasn’t a complete lie. “Killua.” Illumi felt his temper growing short from the pressure and stress of being accused and almost caught. “I’ve said no, and it’s final.” He declared quietly, standing up and briskly turning away and walking out, just needing to distance himself from his brother. Killua shouted and pointed at him. “You do have something to do with it, don’t you?!” However, there was no response. Illumi had already disappeared into one of the many hallways, out of reach from Killua’s pale hands.

The young Zoldyck sighed heavily, his eyebrows furrowing down as he shoved his hands roughly into his pockets and stomping out of the room. He walked aimlessly, hoping he would bump into Illumi and confront him once more. Now Killua was sure that Illumi had at least some part in Gon’s kidnapping, perhaps he did it all on his own and Hisoka wasn’t even involved with it- which he doubted but it was possible. He felt stupid for not realizing earlier that Illumi could have easily taken his best friend from right under his nose. To clear his head, he traveled deeper and deeper into the twists and turns of the halls, making the mansion seem much larger than it was. Killua was still angry and upset, his one chance at finding Gon and it was blown. 

A small muffled sound came from his right.

Killua stopped in his tracks, turning his head towards the door where the sound came from. It was an old room that had almost never been used during his entire life. Nobody went in there; the servants even barely went inside to change the sheets. So what was that sound? Killua inched forward and carefully opened the door. The room was horribly boring, well besides the mounds of blankets on the bed. It was so strange, why were there blankets stacked on each other? Killua approached the bed, peeking over the mound and freezing, goose bumps crawling up his skin. His knees began to shake and he felt like throwing up. Gon was laying beneath the mountain, his eyes shut and his lips parted with soft breaths. His lips were pale and he wasn’t as dark as Killua remembered. 

But Gon was still Gon, beautiful, entrancing, wonderful Gon. 

Now Killua had the joy and pride to save him, to bring him into his arms and tuck him away from the horrors that came from being a Hunter and from knowing the Zoldycks. “G-Gon.” He choked back a sob, not realizing that tears began to fall and drip from his chin. It almost felt unreal, like he was watching a movie and no matter how far he stuck his hand out, all he could feel was a hard, cold screen. Killua pulled a few blankets aside, quickly wiping his eyes before pushing on Gon’s chest and shaking his shoulders. “Gon! Come on, wake up! Wake up!” He smiled and sniffled, over flooded with emotions. Gon groaned and slowly woke up, blinking his eyes a few times and mumbling Illumi’s name before looking up at Killua. His heart thudded in his chest, his eyes widening. “Killua!!!” Gon cried out, sitting up and hugging him with all his strength. 

The white haired boy leaned down to meet him half way and hugged back, burying his face into Gon’s warm neck. He quickly leaned back, rubbing his eyes so he could clearly see Killua’s face. “I’ve missed you so much.” Killua whispered, not trusting his voice. Gon nodded and held back his excitement, feeling as if he would faint. 

“I’ve missed you too.” Killua then crawled into the bed to sit in front of him, placing his hands at his forehead and cheeks. “Gon, you’re burning up! What happened to you?” He asked with surprise, worried how his friend could be ill. Gon shrugged. “I don’t know… But Illumi has been taking good care of me.” He smiled reassuringly. Killua’s smile dropped, once again riled up by his brother. “He… Took care of you?” 

“Yeah! At first he wasn’t very nice, but then he started taking naps with me and bathing me.” Gon supplied happily, remembering how warm Illumi’s body was when it was close to his own. Killua was ready to kill his big brother. How dare he have the nerve to touch Gon, to kidnap him? Killua huffed angrily, holding back his confusion and surprise that his Aniki actually took care of someone, nonetheless Gon for that matter. Gon was for the most part okay, and that was all that mattered. “Gon, I’m getting you out of here, but we need to go quickly.” He ushered but gave a look of confusion when Gon seemed hesitant. “Gon?” He questioned, reaching out for his friend’s shoulder. Gon stared at his lap before looking back up at Killua. “I… I want to go with you, Killua. But… I really think Illumi would miss me.” 

Killua’s blood ran cold. “Wh-What are you talking about? Don’t be an idiot! Let’s go!” Killua moved his hand down to Gon’s elbow and pulled him. The younger of the two let out a whine of pain and pulled back. “Killua, I really think he would! He would be worried!”

“Don’t say that!” Killua yelled, finally succeeding in getting his sick friend out of the bed. He almost fell but Killua held him up by his arms. “O-Ow… Killua, it hurts. Please just let me lay back down, I don’t feel good.”

“You can lay down when we get out of here!” He rushed, dragging Gon as he turned but stopped dead in his tracks when he heard a strange sound. It was quiet and rough, raw with emotion and pain. Gon was crying. Killua hesitantly turned his head to look back at the black haired boy, witnessing the tears curl around his cheek and down his chin. He made Gon cry. “Gon, I’m sorry.” He apologized quickly, feeling awful. All he wanted was to get him out of here as soon as possible, out of his brother’s murderous clutch. But then Gon cried out Illumi’s name, and Killua had felt truly lost and empty. “G-Gon… Don’t say that.” He begged shakily, his voice cracking as he could only watch Gon cry. 

His tan knees were wobbling as he tried to support himself, his fingers tightly wound into fists. “I-I…” Gon sniffled and whimpered, “I want Illumi..! H-He took care of me, a-and he gives me warm drinks…!” He cried more, eyes burning along with his throat as he coughed and sobbed. Killua didn’t know how to respond. This entire time he had been trying to be gentle with Gon, to protect him and let their relationship grow. His worse fear was that his family would hurt him, but now it felt like he was the one hurting his best friend. He shook his head, Illumi was manipulative! He had him thinking just like Gon was! “Gon, please listen! Illumi kidnapped you, he isn’t nice! He’s an awful person that hates you!” Gon seemed to cry louder, closing his eyes tightly as his eyebrows furrowed down. 

The door slammed open and Killua found himself unable to breathe, eyes wide as his body went limp and he slumped to the floor. 

His vision blurred a little but he could watch as someone crouched down next to Gon who had also fallen from no longer being supported. Slender and pale arms reached out and pulled him close, curling around him and letting their fingers slip into his hair. Long black hair gracefully fell around their shoulder and Gon’s back as their head tilted down. Killua could only watch as Illumi let his pale, lifeless lips press to Gon’s forehead and the sniffling quieted. Gon rubbed his eyes and buried his face into Illumi’s neck, now practically silent besides the occasional shaky breath. Illumi turned his head to look into his brother’s eyes, his face unreadable. He was being so gentle to Gon, so caring. Loving. Colors and shapes clouded Killua’s vision as his eyelids drooped. Whispers carrying him off to sleep.

“I didn’t want to leave you.”

“It’s okay Gon-kun, you’re safe now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another huge thanks to every single one of you, I'm sorry it took so long but I finally finished this and I hope you all enjoyed it.


End file.
